The Life and Times of Evangeline Messer
by Kawaii-babi
Summary: Mor exciting than the title. it's a bunch of stories about what happens in Danny and Lindsay's lifes when they have a daughter... tres funny... rated for chapter 1... stupid Flack... Sequel to Truth, Dare, Double dare, Promise to repeat, Rainbow?
1. Barbie dot com, first ask dad or mom

**Chapter 1: Barbie dot COM, First Ask Dad or Mom**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: A magical unicorn**

_**Disclaimer: **Don't own CSI: NY or anything in relation to it. I also don't own I did though… HAHA HAHA… not funny… ok ok… umm… in this fic, Danny and Lindsay ARE MARRIED and have a kid, so yeah. Evangeline is a figment of my imagination. Oh and I am writing this with an injured finger… so let's time this… right now its 9:13 pm….

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A young girl, around 4 years old, with dirty blonde pigtails and electric blue eyes named Evangeline sat in the break room of New York's crime lab, watching Teletoon, more specifically, Gerald McBoingBoing, (BEST SHOW EVER!) when all of a sudden, a commercial popped up. More specifically, a Barbie commercial.

"… Barbie dot COM, first ask dad or mom. Please ask your parents before going online." The commercial said. Evangeline popped out of her seat and ran out of the room looking for her parents. Unfortunately, being the little kid that she is, she ran a little too fast and rammed into Stella, who had a cup of steaming hot coffee and a white t-shirt.

"OWW! That burns! OWW! Oh, hi Eva… umm… what made you run into me sweetie?" Stella said as calmly as she could, without cussing. Evangeline just looked up and pondered for a second, and then she remembered.

"Hi auntie Stella! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked then smiled up at Stella. Stella just looked down at the little girl trying to understand what she said.

"Umm… no Eva, I haven't. Have you checked their office? Maybe they're in there. You want me to walk with you? I'm going in that direction anyway. I need to get a new shirt before the guys start gawking." Stella said angrily. Evangeline just raised her hand.

"OOO! OOO! What does 'Guw-king' mean?" Evangeline asked curiously, making Stella laugh.

"First, babe, it's pronounced 'gaw-king' and secondly, it means to stare and sometimes drool." Stella said, trying to make the definition as simple as possible. Evangeline raised her hand again.

"OOO! OOO! My daddy 'gawks' at my mommy when she wears her black undies but I don't know why. When my daddy helps me get dressed he doesn't 'gawk' at me." She said as innocently as possible. Stella just laughed and they walked down the hall together. They got to Danny and Lindsay's office and walked in, but they weren't there. Evangeline's smile faded quickly. Stella noticed this, so she bent down to Evangeline's level and hugged her.

"Hey babe, it's all right. You can come to my office and I'll change my shirt and you can go on my computer, and we're going to call your parents and get their permission for you to go on that site that you wanted, ok?" Stella suggested. Evangeline dashed put of the room to Stella's office, making Stella laugh hard. Suddenly, her pager went off.

"SHIT! I am SO not in the mood right now. Eva, sweetie! I gotta go somewhere. Why don't you go find uncle Sid? I'm sure he'd LOVE to show you how to cut a person open. At this, Evangeline dashed to the elevator and pressed the 'down' button.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Hi uncle Sid! Hi! Hi! HI!" Evangeline exclaimed as she got out of the elevator. Sid looked up from the body that he was examining and smiled.

"Why hello princess! I was wondering when I would get to see your lovely face around here again! It gets quite lonely just having dead bodies around here…" Sid said, trying to sound sad. Evangeline just grabbed a chair out of nowhere and stood up on it.

"My face isn't lovely, it's gor-eh-geous! And you're not lonely. Doesn't everyone else come to see you at some point during the day? And dead bodies are cool!" Evangeline exclaimed, taking the scalpel from Sid's hands. Sid gave a hearty laugh.

"Oh so you want to help?" Sid asked. Evangeline nodded. "And Danny wanted a son…" Sid said under his breath. Evangeline looked at him quizzically.

"Who's Danny?" She asked, fiddling with the scalpel. Sid noticed this and quickly took it away from her.

"Oh that's your daddy's first name. But you wouldn't know that, because all you hear all day is 'dad', 'daddy' or 'detective Messer'." Sid explained. Evangeline just nodded.

"Can we cut this body open now?" Evangeline asked. Sid looked at her.

"Now I KNOW you didn't just come down here to help me cut open a body, right?" Sid asked. Evangeline just looked down.

"Uh-uh! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked again. Sid just laughed.

"You know what? I haven't seen them. But the commercial is basically asking for you to ask an adult and I have a laptop somewhere around here, so you can first help me with this body, then I'll find the laptop, and we can BOTH go on the site together. Is that okay with you?" Sid asked playfully. Evangeline then grabbed the scalpel and smiled.

"Let's cut this dude open!" Evangeline exclaimed. Suddenly, Hawkes walked in to the room, wanting to talk to Sid, but stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hammerback, you're not supposed to let her use your tools! Did you forget what Danny tried to do last time you did?" Hawkes exclaimed. Evangeline ran to Hawkes and hugged the bajeebers out of him.

"Uncle Shelly! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" She said again. Hawkes then looked at Sid, who mouthed back 'Uncle Shelly?' then started to laugh silently. Hawkes just glared at him and turned his attention to the little girl attached to his leg.

"No, Line, I don't know where they are. But your mom called a few minutes ago. She sends her love and says 'Don't forget to eat!' Do you want a sandwich? I got a ham and cheese with mayo in the fridge." At this, she jumped onto his back.

"I'll take that as a yes." Hawkes said, getting into the elevator with the little girl on his back.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Danny! Hurry up! She's probably worried sick!" Lindsay exclaimed, urging her husband to go faster.

"Chillax Montana! She's going to be fine! She has Stella, Hawkes, Sid and Flack there, and they all love her." Danny said, trying to calm his wife down.

"I sure hope so." Lindsay said, relaxing into the seat and falling asleep,

leaving Danny to think. (Wow, so rare)

_  
I hope she's not driving everyone mad…_

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"UNCLE FLACK! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked. Flack just stood there.

"What the fuck is 'Barbie dot COM'?" Flack said, then instantly regretted it.

"NO! FORGET I SAID THAT!" Flack yelled, but it was too late.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…" Evangeline yelled. Suddenly, Lindsay and Danny walked into the lobby and stopped dead in their tracks and watched the sight before them. There was their 4-year-old daughter, swearing, and Flack, looking like he said something wrong. Danny's blood started to boil.

"FLACK! I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!" Danny yelled as he lunged for Flack, but Lindsay stopped him before he could do anything.

"DANNY! I do not want my daughter learning how to swear AND kill in one day! Sweetie, could you please erase that word from your memory?" Lindsay asked her daughter. Evangeline nodded and smiled.

"Mommy! There's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies, but I need your permission to go on, 'cause the commercial said 'Barbie dot COM, first ask dad or mom.' CAN I GO ON BARBIE DOT COM?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay just smiled.

"Sure sweetie, let me just get my computer booted." Lindsay said. As soon as she finished the sentence, the power went out.

"FUCK!" Flack yelled, then instantly regretted it…

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_Yay! I'm finished chapter 1! It is now 11:34 pm… wow… 2 hours and 21 minutes…lol! REVIEW!_


	2. Can you do it with Kandoo?

**Chapter 2: Can You Do It With Kandoo?**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: The hippo shaped as an H on that Huggies Clean Team Commercial**

_**Disclaimer: **Lazy bums…YOU SAID ANUS! HAHA HAHA!

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Young Evangeline Messer sat in the staff room, as usual, watching TV, again, more specifically, Teletoon. She was watching Angela Anaconda, when suddenly, a Kandoo commercial popped up.

"… I can do it too, with Kandoo!" The commercial said. Suddenly, Flack walked into the room with a black eye and went straight for the fridge and grabbed a soda.

"Uncle Flack? Can you do it with Kandoo?" Evangeline asked. Flack was so shocked that he spit out his purple soda all over Evangeline's light pink dress. Evangeline got angry.

"I'M GONNA TELL MY DADDY ON YOU, UNCLE FLACK!" Evangeline yelled, then ran out of the room before Flack had time to react.

"I am so screwed…" Flack said to himself, slapping his forehead.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA! AUNTIE STELLA!" Evangeline yelled in an annoying voice while running toward Stella with tears in her eyes.

"Aww! Eva, babe! What's wrong?" Stella asked, reaching out for a hug.

"Uncle Flack… he… he… he…" Evangeline tried to say, but her crying took over. Stella noticed this and started to rub her back soothingly.

"Aww! Babe! What did mean old Uncle Flack do?" Stella asked calmly.

"Uncle Flack spit all his purple soda onto my pink dress!" Evangeline said, pointing to the purple on her dress. Stella quickly looked down at her outfit and sighed in relief that she has decided to wear black that day.

"Do you have ANY idea why Uncle lack spit out his drink at you?" Stella asked. Evangeline shook her head and walked away.

"Oh Auntie Stella?" Evangeline shouted. Stella looked back at her.

"Yeah babe?" Stella yelled back.

"Can you do it with Kandoo?" Evangeline asked, and then ran away. Stella dropped the glass of milk that she was carrying in shock all over her black suit, leaving a big white patch.

"SHIT!" Stella yelled, then ran to her office to get yet another new outfit.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Hi Uncle Sid!" Evangeline yelled, running into the morgue and latching onto Sid's leg.

"And what about me?" Hawkes asked, crossing his arms and pouting. Evangeline giggled and jumped in his arms.

"Hi Uncle Shelly!" Evangeline exclaimed, earning a snicker from Sid. Hawkes just glared at him.

"Line, what happened to your dress?" Hawkes asked, since purple had transferred to his baby blue shirt. Evangeline looked down and frowned.

"Uncle Flack spit all his purple soda onto my pink dress!" Evangeline said, pouting adorably.

"C'mon, Line, let's go find your daddy, and a new shirt for me." Hawkes said, picking Evangeline off the floor and putting her on his hip.

"Uncle Shelly, can you do it with Kandoo?" Evangeline asked, and Hawkes almost dropped her.

"Let's go find your daddy." Hawkes chocked out, leaving Sid in the morgue to laugh his head off.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Now where's your daddy. I do NOT know…" Hawkes asked to himself, looking around the lobby.

"You know when a person is crazy, they talk to themselves." Mac said, sneaking up behind them.

"Uncle Mac! You scared-ed me!" Evangeline exclaimed, and then she smiled.

"Hey Angel! Didn't see you there! Why do you have purple all over your lovely dress?" Mac asked, Evangeline sighed and explained.

"Uncle Flack spit all his purple soda onto my pink dress, and then it trans-if-fi-far… got on Uncle Shelly's shirt!" Evangeline exclaimed. Mac tried to stop the laugh that was coming, and the resulting sound sounded like an elephant.

"Well, that's why 'Uncle Flack' jumps every time someone says his name." Mac said to himself. Hawkes laughed.

"You know when a person is crazy, they talk to themselves." Hawkes said teasingly. Mac laughed back.

"At least I'm not answering myself." Mac teased back, then held out his arms for Evangeline, who jumped out of Hawkes' arms and into Mac's. Before he left, Hawkes leant into Mac's ear.

"She's your problem now." Hawkes whispered. Mac just raised his eyebrow and shrugged.

"Any idea what he's talking about?" Mac asked Evangeline. She just shrugged her shoulders.

"Donno! Uncle Mac! Imma hungy! I want foooooooooooooooood!" Evangeline said, her stomach growling in approval.

"You know what, Angel? There's some pogos in the fridge. A little birdie told me that someone in this lobby likes pogos! Do you know who it is?" Mac said, looking at Evangeline, who raised her arm.

"OOO! OOO! ME! ME! I LIKE POGOS!" Evangeline yelled, running for the break room, and Mac just laughed.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"MOMMY! DADDY!" Evangeline yelled, running into the break room, interrupting her parents' little make out session.

"Hey Evan! Where have you been?" Danny asked while trying to slow down his breathing. Lindsay laughed and looked at Evangeline.

"EVANGELINE AIDAN MESSER! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU DO TO YOUR DRESS?" Lindsay yelled, noticing the large purple spot on her dress. Unfortunately for Flack, he was in the room, so he tried to hide behind the fridge. Danny saw this and pulled him into the open and grinned evilly.

"Apparently, Flack knows something about what happened, so spill." Danny said, making Flack VERY uncomfortable.

"Well… I… um… BYE!" Flack yelled, then ran out of the room.

"Well THAT was a waste of time." Mac said, going into the fridge and grabbing a pogo.

"Evangeline… Aidan… Messer… what did you do to your dress?" Lindsay asked again. Evangeline just looked up shyly and fiddled with the hem of her dress

"Uncle Flack spit out his purple soda all over my dress…" Evangeline started. That was all Danny needed. He picked up a spork from the table (yes a spork) and dashed out of the room.

"DANNY! Where are you going?" Lindsay asked/yelled. Danny popped his head back in the room and responded.

"To kill a Flack!" Danny said, then as soon as he appeared, he disappeared. Lindsay just shock her head in disappointment

"You're dad is an idiot." Lindsay muttered under her breath, putting another dress on Evangeline (don't ask where she got it). Evangeline giggled.

"Daddy's stupid, isn't he?" Evangeline asked, making Lindsay and Mac laugh.

"Mommy…" Evangeline started. Lindsay looked up.

"Yeah, Evangeline?' Lindsay asked.

"Can you do it with Kandoo?" Evangeline asked, making Mac laugh and Lindsay stare in shock. Just that moment, Danny walked back into the break room, pulling Flack by the ear. Danny heard the comment and looked at Flack.

"You had something to do with this, didn't you?" Danny asked menacingly. Flack gulped.

"I am SO dead." Flack said, whimpering.

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There it is, chapter two, written by me just for you. Now it's done and I must say, time to put my keyboard away. Hee hee! That was chapter 2, please review. Or I will rhyme, 'till the time, when comments for chapter 2 go up to nine! 


	3. What's a Condom?

**Chapter 3: What's a Condom?**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: Trojan Paper**

_**Disclaimer: **Don't own Trojan Condoms… yet… hee hee…

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Young Evangeline Messer went running down the halls of the New York crime lab, looking for someone to explain something to her, as usual. She soon ran into Flack.

"Uncle Flack! Uncle Flack! I found something on the floor before, but I didn't pick it up 'cause my mommy an' daddy told me never to pick something up around here because it could be dangerous!" Evangeline said quickly. Flack was confused.

"What did you find, gorgeous? Was it in a yellowish bag with red tape?" Mac asked. Evangeline shook her head.

"Nope, it was tiny, and square, and in purple wrapping. Oh, and I think it said 'Throw Jam'…" Evangeline said. Flack's eyes went wide.

"Shoot! Not my condoms!" Flack said to himself, and then slapped his hand over his mouth. Evangeline was puzzled.

"Uncle Flack, what are you doing?" Evangeline asked. Flack sighed in relief and silently thanked the gods for her not paying attention to what he said. Unfortunately, his praying was in vain.

"Uncle Flack, what's a condom?" Evangeline asked. Flack silently swore.

"It's not my place to explain… " Flack said, then walked away before the girl could ask any more questions. He was NOT going to let Danny kick his ass again for something he didn't mean to do… again. He then realized he had made a stupid mistake by not explaining to her, knowing that she's be running around the lab until someone explained to her what something was.

"SHIT!" Flack exclaimed, and then ran after Evangeline, hoping he wasn't too late. Unfortunately, he didn't see which way she went so he went to the break room to get some purple soda (I have just been informed that it's called grape crush…) and clear his mind before he got the shit kicked out of him by Danny, yet again.

"Here's to my last day as a fully able man." Flack said, as he chugged his soda, then let out a humongous burp.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Uncle Shelly!" Evangeline yelled, jumping into Hawkes's arms, making Stella laugh out loud. Hawkes just glared at her and then turned his attention back to the little girl in his arms.

"Hey Line! What's wrong this time?" Hawkes asked, seeing the look of confusion in Evangeline's face. Stella then walked up behind Hawkes and smiled at the little girl in his arms.

"Yeah, Eva. Tell Uncle 'Shelly' what's wrong." Stella said, emphasizing the 'Shelly'. Hawkes glared at her, and Evangeline talking interrupted their little glaring contest.

"I found something on the floor before, but I didn't pick it up 'cause my mommy an' daddy told me never to pick something up around here because it could be dangerous! I was tiny, and square, and in purple wrapping, and Uncle Flack said it was called a 'condom', but I don't know what a condom is. Can you tell me what a condom is?" Evangeline asked. Hawkes's jaw dropped to the floor and Stella reached for her cell phone.

"Flack's gonna get it, Flack's gonna get it…" Stella sang, as she dialed Danny's number. Evangeline shook her head in disappointment.

"I don't think either of you know what a condom is so I'm gonna ask someone SMARTER than you guys, especially you Auntie Stella. You're acting more immature than I do." Evangeline said as she skipped down the hall. Stella's jaw dropped and Hawkes laughed.

"Karma babe…" Hawkes said, and then resumed his laugh attack.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Hi Uncle Sid… wait, you're not Uncle Sid!" Evangeline said as she entered the morgue. A young woman looked at the little girl and Evangeline's eyes widened.

"AUNTIE PEYTON!" Evangeline yelled, then she ran for the older woman's legs and hugged them tight. She then looked at Peyton quizzically.

"Wait, if you're here, then where's Uncle Mac. He usually follows you around like a 'love sick puppy'. That's what my daddy says, and my daddy follows my mommy like a love sick puppy all the time… it gets really funny…" Evangeline said. Suddenly, Evangeline heard footsteps and turned around and smiled.

"I am NOT a love sick puppy… your father might be, but I'm nowhere near that," Mac said, walking up to Peyton and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. Peyton smiled then looked down at Evangeline and gave her a knowing look.

"Uncle Mac, where's my kiss, you love sick puppy?" Evangeline asked. Mac gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then pinched her.

"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Evangeline whined. Mac smiled.

"Am I a love sick puppy?" Mac asked, moving his fingers in a pinching motion. Evangeline gulped.

"No… Uncle Mac…" Evangeline said. Peyton then decided to change the subject.

"Evangel, why did you come in here looking for Sid?" Peyton asked. Evangeline put her finger to her lips and looked up at the cieling like she was thinking (you know, like cute little kids do) then she smiled.

"I found something on the floor before, but I didn't pick it up 'cause my mommy an' daddy told me never to pick something up around here because it could be dangerous! I was tiny, and square, and in purple wrapping, and Uncle Flack said it was called a 'condom', but I don't know what a condom is. Can you tell me what a condom is?" Evangeline asked. Peyton dropped to the floor laughing and Mac almost dropped the cup of hot chocolate he was carrying.

"FLACK'S GONNA GET BUSTED WHEN DANNY HEARS THIS!" Peyton said through her laughter. Mac then glared at her and she immediately stopped.

"You know, Angel, you should be having this conversation with your dad… or Uncle Flack…" Mac said, then he ushered Evangeline out of the room and closed the door.

"Someone needs to learn how to control their laughter," Mac said, handing Peyton the hot chocolate.

"Thanks Mac," Peyton said, grabbing the hot chocolate out of Mac's hands.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"DANNY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! NO! DON'T HURT ME!" Flack yelled. Evangeline saw this and looked into her father's eyes. She was surprised that she saw calmness in his eyes instead of rage.

"You know what, Flack? I ain't gonna hurt you." Danny said calmly. Flack was shocked.

"You're not?" Flack asked shocked.

"You're not?" Lindsay echoed, equally shocked. Danny winked at her.

"Naw. I ain't gonna hurt you. Imma let you teach my daughter what a condom is, and, I'd like you to meet grandma Messer." Danny said. Suddenly, a large Italian woman walked into the lobby with a broom.

"YOU HAVE VIOLATED MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S THOUGHTS!" Grandma Messer yelled, chasing Flack through the lobby with the ginormous broom.

"MOMMY!" Flack yelled, making everyone laugh.

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_Review_


	4. RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT!

**Chapter 4: RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT!**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: That person… that did that thing…**

_**Disclaimer: **My friend is telling me that I have to write more than one disclaimer per story, so here goes. All characters from CSI: NY do NOT belong to me. I DO however, own a drawing of Danny Messer, drawn by yours truly… I do not own grape crush, or pixie stix, or Bazooka Joe, or cherry blasters, or real dairy ice cream…Oh! And Chelsea is a friend turned into a figment of my imagination, who was turned into a fanfiction creature… there we go…

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"Linds, are you SURE we should leave Evan with FLACK? Of all people, why FLACK?" Danny wined as Lindsay drove to Flack's apartment.

"Danny, we've discussed this several times… You wanted to have a nice night together, none of her regular sitters are available, Stella can't afford for Evangeline to ruin another one of her outfits, Mac and Peyton are 'busy' per say, Hawkes is working late, Sid's with his kids, and I don't trust Adam…" Lindsay said, but was interrupted by Danny.

"But you trust Flack?" Danny asked, the he looked back at the backseat to see his daughter sleeping soundly.

"Not really. But my friend Chelsea's going to be there. She's almost as bad as you." Lindsay said with a smile.

"I know Chelsea. I'm no where NEAR as bad as her." Danny said with a pout. Lindsay pretended to think for a second then spoke.

"You're right." Lindsay said, making Danny grin.

"You're worse." Lindsay said. Danny gave a fake shocked expression then playfully hit her.

"Hey! Stop it Danny! We're here!" Lindsay said, pushing his hand away and parking the car. Danny got out and opened the door to the backseat, reluctantly shaking his daughter awake. She mumbled a bit in her sleep, and then snuggled back into the car seat.

"Evan, wake up baby girl, we're here." Danny said, shaking her a bit harder. She then jolted up in her seat.

"MONKEY STOLE MY LLAMA!" She shouted, and then looked at her father, who was staring at her like she was crazy.

"You have had WAY too much sugar today, Evan, and you have your mother to blame for it." Danny said, picking her up with one hand, and picking her overnight bag in the other. Just then, Lindsay walked around the car to see what was taking so long.

"Why, aren't you strong?" Lindsay said flirtily. Danny grinned.

"Why thank you gorgeous." Danny said, making Lindsay laugh.

"I was talking to Eve…" Lindsay said, and then put her arms out for Evangeline, who did a monkey jump from Danny's arms to Lindsay's.

"Now let's go see your Uncle Flack." Lindsay said, walking to Flack's front door. Danny reluctantly followed.

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"She has to be in bed by 8 o'clock. She's not allowed to hold a gun. If she crosses her legs, it means she has to pee REALLY badly, even though she might deny it. If she can't sleep, heat up some milk for 45 seconds in the microwave. She eats at 7, 12 and 5 o'clock. She is not allowed to watch violent shows. She has to take a bath, you should let Chelsea take care of that…" Lindsay said while ticking things off on her fingers.

"And no sugar!" Danny said quickly. Flack just nodded.

"8 o'clock, no gun, crossed legs pee pee time, milk in microwave for 45 seconds, eat at 7, 12 and 5, no violent shows, let Chels take care of the bath, and no sugar. I think I have it all…" Flack recited. "Now you guys go and have that day together that you've been dying for for the past 5 years… Evangeline is in good hands." Flack said, pushing Danny and Lindsay out the front door.

"This is a bad idea." Danny said, then he and Lindsay got into the car and drove to god-knows-where for god-knows-what.

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"Hey Flack, hey Evangeline." Chelsea said, walking out of the bedroom that she and Don shared in an over sized t-shirt and a pair of Flack's boxers.

"Hi Auntie Chels!" Evangeline said, and then noticed what she was wearing. "Why are you wearing Uncle Flack's underwear?" Evangeline asked, making Chelsea blush. Flack noticed this and smiled.

"She's wearing my underwear because last night, she and I…" Chelsea cut him off.

"Hey, Evangeline, what do you want for lunch?" Chelsea asked, walking into the kitchen.

"GRILLED CHEESE AND KETCHUP!" Evangeline yelled (it actually tastes good) then went to cuddle up with Flack, who was sitting on the couch channel surfing. (Imagine surfing on channels, tee hee.) Evangeline got bored and went to the DVD cupboard.

"Can we watch a movie?" Evangeline asked, flipping through the DVDs, then she stopped on one.

"Can we watch RENT?" Evangeline exclaimed, holding up the DVD. Flack sighed.

"Go ahead, Chelsea will watch it with you." Flack said, walking into the kitchen and taking over the stove. Chelsea ran into the living room, plopped the DVD into the player and sat down with Evangeline and they both started singing, loudly and off-key.

"525600 MINUTES! 52500 MOMENTS SO DEAR! 525600 MINUTES! HOW DO YOU MEASURE, MEASURE A YEAR?" They sang in union, not bugging Flack so much.

"THE MUSIC IGNITES THE NIGHT WITH PASSIONATE FIRE!" They sang some more, giving Flack a SLIGHT headache.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!" They sang louder, making Flack flinch.

"TIME FLYYYYYYYYYS AND THEN NO NEED TO ENDURE ANY MORE…" They sang as Flack came into the room with their grilled cheeses, then he returned to the kitchen and put his Ipod on full blast, hoping that some Metallica would drown them out.

"THEY CALL ME, THEY CALL ME, MIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" They sang, well, more screamed.

"NOW WHO COULD FOR TELL THAT IT WOULD GO SO WELL, BUT SURE AS I AM HERE THAT DOG IS NOW IN DOGGY HELL." Flack reached for the sharpest knife in the drawer but then quickly let it go.

"HAS SHE EVER POUTED HER LIPS, AND CALLED YOU, POOKIE?" Flack was seriously pissed off.

"SHUT UP WITH THAT HORRID SINGING!" Flack yelled, slamming his Ipod on the counter, breaking it. Chelsea and Evangeline just looked at each other and smiled.

"THERE'S ONLY US, THERE'S ONLY THIS, FORGET REGRET, OR LIFE IS YOURS TO MISS!" Flack started hitting his head on the counter. Evangeline and Chelsea noticed this and finally stopped singing. Chelsea got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Babe, take an Advil and go to bed. I'll take care of Evangeline." Chelsea said, taking the Advil out of the medicine cabinet. Flack watched her every move.

"No RENT?" Flack asked hopefully. Chelsea giggled and plopped two Advils into his mouth.

"No RENT." Chelsea replied, pushing him into the bedroom and closed the door, then grinned at Evangeline. See, Chelsea, even though she was 29, still had the sweet tooth of a 3 year old. She went off into the kitchen and took out her secret stash of sugar, which consisted of:

Grape Crush

Pixie Stix

Bazooka Joes

Cherry Blasters

Real Dairy Ice Cream

A whole bunch of random Halloween candies

They both smiled and dug into the stash, not knowing how much trouble they were getting Flack into.

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"I told you not to eat the veal Parmesan there, Montana, but did you listen? NO!" Danny said while driving the car. Lindsay was in the seat next to him moaning.

"It was the only thing on the menu that didn't sound like gibberish to me." Lindsay protested while rubbing her stomach.

"I hope Flack hasn't corrupted her yet." Danny said to himself as he drove a little faster to his friend's apartment.

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"Listen, Evangeline, I have to get home and change. I'll be back in around an hour if traffic's not so bad, ok?" Chelsea said. Evangeline pulled out a cherry blaster and chewed on it silently. As soon as Chelsea left though, she was bouncing off the walls. Suddenly, Flack walked out of his room and saw the mess on the floor.

"Messer's so gonna kill me." Just as he said that, the phone rang, but Flack decided to let it go to the answering machine.

_Hey, it's Flack. If I'm not answering, I either hate you, I'm at work, I'm somewhere more important than here, or I'm with the most gorgeous girl on earth **FLACK STOP IT** Leave a message after the noise… BEEP_

"Hey Flack, it's Danny. Listen, Lindsay has food poisoning, so we're coming to pick up Evan. I hope that she's the same way we left her or so help me god… gotta go, Lindsay has to puke again. Be there in 5!" Flack's eyes shot open. There was no way he was going to get her to calm down in 5 minutes. He then noticed that something was missing.

"Where's Chels?" Flack asked the little girl. She had just plopped a lollipop in her mouth and shrugged. Flack groaned and tried to clean up the mess they made in his kitchen before Danny and Lindsay got there.

_DING DONG!_

"SHIT!" Flack yelled, then he went to the door and slowly opened it to reveal a very anxious Danny.

"Where is she?" Danny asked. Evangeline ran to the door and jumped into her father's arms. She was bouncing like crazy and Danny saw the candy wrapper in Flack's hands.

"FLAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Danny yelled, then he pulled the swiss army knife out of his pocket. Flack saw this and ran outside, in his boxers, mind you, with Danny hot on his trail.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Flack yelled as Danny caught up to him.

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_Like, hate? Please comment!_


	5. At Least You Look Better Than Flack Did

**Chapter 5: At Least You Look Better Than Flack**

**Written by: Kawaii-baby**

**Edited by: Sweet-talking, sugarcoated, candy man**

_**Disclaimer: **Don't have a turtle do! Thank god! Oh and thanks to my improv coach for the idea. From now on, in your reviews, I would like a small problem that a little kid would find HUGE! Like, getting their hair cut, or a small boo boo, or they wet the bed…anyways, I'm not gonna put everyone in here, just Stella, Lindsay, Danny, Evangeline, Sid and Flack

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_

"I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T **WANNA**!" Evangeline shrieked, holding onto the light post in front of the hair salon as tightly as she could while her parents tried to pry her arms off of it.

"Evan! Please let go! You're practically tripping over your hair! PLEASE? I promise that I'll take you to go see The Hills Have Eyes 2 if you do!" Danny said, hoping that she would give in. Sadly, she only screamed louder.

"NO! TOO SCARY! ME NO LIKEY MUTANTS! NOOOOOOO!" Evangeline shrieked, pulling herself closer to the light post. Lindsay glared at Danny then smacked him upside the head and dug into her purse.

"You won't let go, even if I give you a cherry lollipop?" Lindsay said, pulling the sweet sugary goodness out of her purse and waved in tauntingly in her daughter's face. Evangeline's eyes went wide and she made a grab for the lollipop. Danny took that opportunity to scoop her up on his arms and bring her into the salon.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Evangeline yelled, then she looked at the lollipop and happily plopped it into her mouth.

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"So, little girl… what would you like me to do with your hair?" A middle-aged lady asked Evangeline. Evangeline thought for a moment then smiled.

"Nothing!" Evangeline said simply. The old lady rolled her eyes and shoved a caramel in the little girls mouth to shut her up and got to work.

15 MINUTES LATER

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" A screech rang out through New York, making everyone in Manhattan turn his or her heads and shrug.

"What's wrong pumpkin? Don't like your hair? You spoiled little brat." The old lady said under her breath, holding up the mirror so that Evangeline could see her hair. Danny and Lindsay rushed to see why Evangeline was screaming. Danny looked and tried to hold in a laugh, but it was no use, and he fell to the floor laughing. Lindsay kicked him, hard and glared at him.

"OWW! MONTANA! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Danny asked/yelled. Lindsay decided to ignore him and decided to console her daughter.

"Hey gorgeous! Look at me! I LIKE your turtle do! I think it's super-cute! I tried to get one when I was your age, but my parents wouldn't let me." Lindsay said. Evangeline pouted.

"But mommy! You're not cool!" Evangeline said, shocking Lindsay. _A 4 year old told me that I'm not cool! A FOUR YEAR OLD! And not just any 4 year old, MY DAUGHTER! _Lindsay thought. Before she could open her mouth to respond, though, Danny started to speak.

"Hey Evan. Look on the bright side. Your turtle do looks SO much better than your uncle Flack's!" Danny said, earning a smile from Evangeline.

"Daddy! I wanna go show off my new hairdo at the lab!" Evangeline yelled, pulling her parents out of the hair salon and running to the subway.

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"Auntie Stella!" Evangeline yelled, running into Stella's office. Stella quickly closed the website she was looking at on her computer and smiled nervously at Evangeline.

"Hey Eva…" Stella started, and then she looked at Evangeline's hair and went pale.

"Auntie Stella! Do you like my hair?" Evangeline asked, attempting a supermodel walk, then attempted to flip her hair, but to no avail, making Stella laugh.

"Umm… it's very… unique?" Stella said/asked. Evangeline smiled and skipped out of the room, then poked her head through the door again.

"By the way, Auntie Stella, your shirt's on inside out." Evangeline said, then skipped away. Stella looked down and groaned.

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"Uncle Sid! Uncle Sid! UNCLE SID!" Evangeline yelled, waking Sid up from a very nice dream that involved girls and bikinis and him. He snorted and looked up to see a familiar face.

"Hi Smiley!" Sid said, yawning a little. He lifted his head up off the table and Evangeline had to laugh at the paper that was stuck to his cheek. Sid looked at her confused then snickered a little.

"Why what a lovely hairdo you have." Sid said, trying not to laugh. Evangeline grinned the famous Messer grin and Sid just had to add something else in there.

"Looks WAY better than Flack's turtle do!" Sid said, laughing when Evangeline jumped up and kissed him on the cheek and ran out of the morgue. Sid stared out into space for a moment, then he took the paper off of his cheek and dropped his head back onto the desk.

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"Uncle Flack is a quack that I wanna whack with a bat!" Evangeline sang as she jumped onto Flack's back, startling him, and making him drop his coke (yes, he decided to change drinks for once) all over an open thing of pop rocks, which immediately began popping out of control (like, basically, blowing out light bulbs and poking people's eyes out, out of control) and Flack glared at Evangeline.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT… AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" Flack laughed when he finally looked at Evangeline properly. Evangeline tilted her head to the side.

"What's so funny Uncle Flack?" Evangeline asked. Flack was having a serious laugh attack.

"Your… hair… stupid… turtle do!" Flack managed to say in-between snorts and giggles. Evangeline teared up and ran out of the break room. She came back in the room a few minutes later with Danny following close behind with a pair of scissors and some duck tape. Flack tried to run but Sid pushed him onto a chair while Evangeline wrapped duck tape around him. Danny then began snapping the scissors and grinning maliciously.

"Messer… please… don't…" Flack was cut off by a piece of duck tape that was put over his mouth. Danny grinned even wider.

"You think my daughter's do is bad, just wait until you see your new mullet." Danny said, moving the scissors ever closer to Flack's head while a little piece of Flack died inside.

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_Sorry it took so long for an update… REVIEW!_


	6. Payback's A Bitch, Ain't It?

**Chapter 6: Payback's a Bitch, Ain't it?**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: What?**

_**Disclaimer: **Don't own CSI: NY, yadda yadda yadda… Oooh! RENT IS ON! Haha! Maria is loosely based on Mimi Marquez from RENT, so please don't sue.

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_

"Maria! I can't take him for the day! I have to WORK!" Flack yelled to a Hispanic woman who was in the lobby, holding a little boy, around five years old, by the hand.

"Donald Flack! He's YOUR SON TOO! Come ON! It's just for the day so that I can hang around with Mark…" The Hispanic woman said. Flack rolled his eyes.

"Wasn't it Jason last week? Seriously, Mari, you change guys like… like… like… like I change underwear." Flack said. Suddenly, the young boy looked up at Flack with his striking blue eyes, making Flack's heart melt.

"You know what, Maria? I'll take him. Not because of you, but because he's my son. Plus, my friend has a daughter who can keep him company." Flack said, picking up the boy. Maria squealed and jumped up to give Flack a kiss on the cheek and then whispered into his ear.

"It was his eyes, wasn't it? He has those eyes that you just can't say no to. Your eyes." Maria whispered. She then kissed her son on the head and skipped out of the lobby, leopard-print coat and all. Flack watched her for a moment, then turned to the little boy in his arms and smiled.

"Come on, little man. Time for you to meet the family." Flack said. The boy looked up with a confused look.

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"UNCLE FLACK! I DREW A PICTURE FOR… Who's that?" Evangeline asked, waving a piece of paper in the air. The little boy looked at her with curiosity. Flack smiled.

"THIS…" Flack said, "Is my son, Zachary." Flack said, putting the boy down. Zachary looked at the floor, and then looked up at Evangeline with a blush on his face. Evangeline smiled and hugged him.

"Hi! I'm Evangeline! I like cookies and pumpkin pie and chocolate cake and brownies and grape crush and basically anything that has sugar in it! What do you like?" Evangeline asked happily. Zachary smiled and opened his mouth.

"ME TOO!" Zachary said excitedly. Evangeline pulled him into another hug.

"Let's be friends!" Evangeline yelled, and then they ran down the hall, hand in hand.

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"Uncle Shelly!" Evangeline yelled, running into the break room, waking Hawkes up from a very good dream. Sheldon looked around the room confusedly, looking for the source of the voice. Before he could locate it, Evangeline and Zachary jumped on him.

"Uncle Shelly! This is Zachary! He's Uncle Flack's son and my new bestestestestestestestestestestestest friend!" Evangeline exclaimed while pointing to Zachary, who smiled nervously.

"Why hello Zachary! How old are you?" Hawkes asked. Zachary held up five fingers. Hawkes chuckled.

"Wow, you're going to be a big kid soon, aren't you?" Hawkes said. Zachary smiled and nodded.

"My birthday's in… in… Dekemburrr!" Zachary said proudly. Hawkes raised his eyebrow.

"OOO! OOO! My birthday's in Ooogust!" Evangeline said proudly. Hawkes was getting confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but the kids beat him to it.

"We're gonna go find Stella! I wanna show her my new bestestestestestestestestestestestest friend!" Evangeline said, running out of the room.

"Buh-bye Mr. Shelly!" Zachary said politely, and then turned on his heel to run after Evangeline.

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Evangeline and Zachary ran. They ran and they ran and they ran and they ran. They ran until they bumped straight into Stella's glass door with a thud.

**THUD!** (See, I told you)

Stella looked up from her work to see the two kids pulling themselves off the glass. She jumped up and opened the door and helped them up.

"Oh my god! Eva! Are you okay?" Stella asked, noticing that Evangeline's nose was bleeding a bit. Evangeline looked at Stella and smiled.

"My nothe hurthhhs… Aunthie Sthella! Thsis isth my new fwiend Thachawy." Evangeline said (My nose hurts… Auntie Stella! This is my new friend Zachary.) Stella looked at Evangeline confusedly, then to the little boy.

"What's your name?" Stella asked. Zachary looked up at Stella and smiled.

"My name is Zachary! I'm Evangeline's new bestestestestestestestest friend!" Zachary said while rubbing his cheek, which was slightly bruised.

"Wow, that looks like it hurt. Do you guys want me to fix you up?" Stella asked. They both nodded and followed Stella into her office. Stella pulled out an icepack from her kit (you know the ones in those plastic baggies that when you snap them, they turn cold?) and put it on Zachary's cheek.

"That should help keep the swelling down… now for you young lady." Stella said, rummaging in her kit, looking for q-tips.

"AH-HA!" Stella exclaimed, pulling out a q-tip. She gingerly wiped the blood off of her nose with the q-tip and pulled away.

"Is that better?" Stella asked. Evangeline shook her head.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" Stella asked. Evangeline nodded. Stella gave her a quick kiss on the nose and pulled away.

"Thank you Auntie Stella!" Evangeline exclaimed. Mac walked into the room.

"What's with all the noise?" Mac asked. Evangeline ran over to Mac and hugged his legs tightly.

"Hi Uncle Mac! This is Zachary! He's my new bestestestestestestest friend!" Evangeline exclaimed. Zachary smiled. Mac looked down at him.

"Hey! I know you! You're Mac Taylor!" Zachary exclaimed. Mac smiled.

"Yeah, I know you too! You're Zachary Alejandro Flack!" Mac exclaimed and picked Zachary up. Zachary started giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Mac! Guess what my mommy did last week!" Zachary exclaimed. Mac looked at him questioningly.

"What did your mommy do?" Mac asked. Zachary smiled.

"My mommy took me to go see Gym Class Heroes! It was AWESOME!" Zachary exclaimed. Mac laughed.

"She did, did she?" Mac asked. Zachary smiled and nodded. Mac ruffled his dark locks and smiled.

"Come on, let's go find your daddy." Mac said. Zachary jumped on his back. The both looked expectantly and Evangeline, who was sitting on the floor by herself. She bounced up and grabbed Mac's hand.

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"MOMMY! DADDY!" Evangeline exclaimed, running to her parents, who were busy making out.

"Hi Evan!" Danny exclaimed, picking up his daughter.

"Oomph! You're getting kind of heavy." Danny said, putting her down. Evangeline pouted. Lindsay then stepped in.

"Or your father's loosing muscle." Lindsay said. Danny pouted.

"That wasn't very nice!" Danny said. Lindsay bonked him on the head and turned to Zachary.

"And who might you be?" Lindsay asked. Zachary twiddled his thumbs, so Evangeline decided to step in.

"This is Zachary! He's my new bestestestestestestestestest friend! And daddy! That means you can't hit Uncle Flack any more!" Evangeline said, crossing her arms.

"But that's not FAIR!" Danny whined. Flack chose that moment to step in and hit Danny with a pillow (Don't ask) Lindsay smiled triumphantly.

"Payback's a bitch, ain't it?" Lindsay said. The whole room erupted into laughter.

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_**The end**_

_Soz it took so long! REVIEW!_


	7. I Love You

**Chapter 7: I Love You  
****Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Sir Barky Von Hoodershmitz**

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own CSI: NY or anything in relation to it. Wish I did though. Evangeline and Zachary belong to me. This is set… 8 years after chapter 6, so that means Evangeline is 12 and Zachary is 13. I also don't own The Search For The Next Doll.

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_

Zachary and Evangeline sat in the break room of the New York crime lab, watching the finale of The Search For The Next Doll. They were both spread out across the two new couches in the break room, never taking their eyes off the TV. This had become a weekend tradition; just chilling at the crime lab while their parents worked their butts off. Zachary's mom had gotten a job at a bakery, and she was damn good at it. She would sometimes bring cakes and cookies for Evangeline and Zachary to snack on. A commercial went on and Evangeline turned to Zachary.

"Zac… Who do you think is gonna win and why?" Evangeline asked. Zachary pondered for a second, and then he answered.

"Chelsea. She can sing, and if she commits herself, she can dance." Zachary explained. Evangeline just rolled her electric blue eyes. Zachary sat up sharply.

"Oh! You think I'M wrong? I don't see YOU picking out who's gonna win." Zachary said. Evangeline grinned the famous Messer grin and Zachary reached for his grape crush.

"I think… Asia's gonna win." Evangeline said. Zachary's eyes went wide and he spat out the grape crush that he had just sipped all over the floor.

"Are you KIDDING me? She dances like a drag queen!" Zachary said, making a reference to the episode where Sicily said that Asia dances like a drag queen. Evangeline stared him down and Zachary shut his mouth.

"Drag queens are hot dancers, Zac. Plus, she's got great stage presence. And she can sing. Oh and she's also the only one who has a kid, and look at her body!" Evangeline argued. Zachary sighed and pulled $20 out of his pocket.

"I bet you $20 that Chelsea will win." Zachary said. Evangeline reached into her pocket and pulled out $20 and placed it on the table.

"And I bet $20 that Asia will win." Evangeline said, neatly placing her money on the table next to his 20.

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"NO!" Zachary yelled. Evangeline grinned and took the money off the table greedily.

"Thank you Robin!" Evangeline exclaimed, tucking both 20s into her back pocket. Suddenly, Danny walked into the room and went straight for the fridge, completely ignoring Evangeline and Zachary.

"Hey dad! What's up?" Evangeline asked. Danny pulled a water bottle from the fridge and closed it.

"We've got a dead body… somewhere." Danny said nervously. Evangeline looked at him confusedly.

"Dad? Are you not telling us something?" Evangeline asked. Danny went stiff.

"Uh… I gotta go." Danny said quickly, and then he ran out of the room before either one of them could say anything.

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Danny and Lindsay walked into the small shop and looked around their surroundings. There was blood splattered everywhere and most of the counters and tables were broken, possibly in a struggle. Their attention then turned to the dead body that was lying face down on the ground. It was a Hispanic woman, athletic figure and long brown hair. She was dressed in a pair of khakis and a green v-neck 3-quarters sleeved shirt and a pink apron.

"Danny… help me turn the body." Lindsay said. Danny looked at the body for a moment and then leaned down to help his wife. They turned the body and looked into a pair of familiar brown doe eyes.

"Oh god…" Lindsay said, covering her mouth as tears streamed down from her face.

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"Zachary!" Mac said as he walked into the break room. Zachary looked up.

"Yeah?" Zachary asked, and saw a look of concern in Mac's eyes.

"I need you to come with me to the morgue." Mac said. Zachary gave him a look of confusion and stood up.

"Evangeline… I think that you should come too." Mac said. Evangeline stood up and walked towards Zachary and held his hand tightly.

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They walked into the morgue and saw Danny, Lindsay, Flack and Sid standing next to a body that was still in the body bag. Sid looked up from the papers he was just reading and put them down on the desk. He looked at Mac and Mac nodded. Sid opened the body bag and stepped away. Zachary and Evangeline looked and Zachary started tearing.

"Mom." He said, and then he erupted into uncontrollable tears. Evangeline pulled him into a hug and he cried into the crook of her neck. Danny pulled out his cell phone and texted Flack.

_I'll take Zac for the night if you want._

_-Danny  
_

Flack looked at the text message and smiled weakly at Danny and nodded. Danny walked over to Evangeline and Zachary.

"Come on you guys, we're leaving." Danny said softly. Zac nodded weakly and followed Danny, Lindsay and Evangeline.

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Zachary and Evangeline sat on Evangeline's bed, eating from the tub of cookie dough ice cream in silence. They were both thinking about breaking the silence, it was just a matter of who would.

"Zac… I'm so sorry." Evangeline said. Zachary looked at her with empty eyes. Evangeline scooted closer to him.

"Zac… if you need to talk, you know I'm always here." Evangeline said. Zachary looked at her with the same look. There was a long moment of silence.

"You know, Eve… she was the only person that's ever said 'I love you' to me and that I've ever said 'I love you' to?" Zachary said. Evangeline pondered for a second and then shook her head.

"No you didn't." Evangeline said. The room went silent again.

"I love you, Zachary." Evangeline said, pulling him into a hug. Zachary went stiff for a moment and then relaxed.

"I love you too, Evangeline." Zachary said, kissing her on the top of her head.

**The end**

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_Now this chapter didn't end like you thought it would, did it? Don't worry; the funny stuff will be coming back soon… I promise. No more sad endings... I'll try not to put sad endings._


	8. New Driveways Make Everyone Happy

**Chapter 8: New Driveways Make Everyone Happy  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: I'M GETTING CSI: NY SEASON 2 ON DVD!**

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own CSI: NY… I also don't own a driveway… it belongs to my parents… CHELSEA GOTSTED A NEW DRIVEWAY! CONGRATS CHELS!

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_

Evangeline woke up and noticed that she wasn't lying down on her pillow, but something hard… yet comfortable. She lifted her head up and smiled when she realized that she was sleeping on Zachary's chest. She snuggled closer into his warmth, and Zachary's arms tightened around her, making her blush as the memories from the previous night came flooding back.

"He loves me!" Evangeline whispered to herself, and then she drifted back to sleep. Just as she fell asleep, Lindsay walked into the room with a plate of Barney Waffles (fuchsia and lime green) and put them on her daughter's bedside table. She smiled and left the room, grabbing the cordless phone on the way out and proceeded to call the familiar number.

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**RING RING RING**

Flack was awoken from his sleep by the shrill of his cell phone. He reached for his phone, which was lying on the bedside table, answering it before the sound woke the woman who was sleeping on top of him.

"'Ello?" Flack said with a yawn. The person on the other line giggled.

"'Morning, Flack!" The person on the other line said. Flack growled into the phone.

"Monroe…" Flack said, but was cut off by the person on the other line.

"It's MESSER." The person on the other line said. Flack grinned, forgetting that you can't see a grin through a phone.

"How's about we go with Lindsay?" Flack asked. Lindsay giggled.

"Linds… do you have ANY idea what time it is?" Flack asked. Lindsay sighed and there was a pause.

"11:30 am." Lindsay said. Flack grunted as he attempted to untangle himself from the blankets and his wife.

"I hope that's not the ONLY reason you called me, Linds, to wake me up." Flack said, finally untangling himself and sitting on the edge of the bed, looking for his boxers.

"I was just thinking, wouldn't you like to know what I saw this morning?" Lindsay asked. Flack found his boxers and put them on.

"What did you see, Linds? Was it a purple squirrel? 'Cause if it was, you have a hubby to tell that to." Flack said. Lindsay sighed.

"I only wanted to tell you that I saw your son asleep with my daughter on top of him, but I'm sure you didn't want to know that." Lindsay said, very matter-of-factly. Flack dropped the phone in shock.

"Flack? Hello? Donald Duck? You there?" Lindsay asked. Flack picked up the phone.

"Sorry, Linds… I dropped my phone." Flack said. Lindsay laughed out loud.

"Yeah… sure you did… Do you still want me to look after Zachary today or are you gonna cancel plans for that new driveway of yours?" Lindsay asked. Flack laughed.

"Keep him… I don't need him ruining the cement like he did last time I got a new driveway." Flack said. Lindsay sighed.

"He was 6, Don." Lindsay said.

"He still MEANT to do it." Flack said.

"Whatever." Lindsay said, and then she hung up. Flack stared at the phone for a second and then he closed it.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Eve, get off me!" Zachary said, but Evangeline just snuggled closer into him.

"But daddy! I don't wanna go to school!" Evangeline said, making Zachary smile. He shifted a bit so that his arm could reach the waffle plate. He finally grabbed a hold of it and placed it neatly on the bed and grabbed for a waffle. The wonderful aroma of Lindsay's waffles reached his nose, and Evangeline's as well.

"WAFFLES!" Evangeline exclaimed, grabbing for the waffle in Zachary's hand. Zachary pulled it away.

"GET YOUR OWN WAFFLE!" Zachary said. Evangeline pouted.

"But the first waffle off the plate is the warmest, fluffiest, yummiest and Barney-est!" Evangeline said. Zachary looked like he was going to say no, but then he looked into his friend's eyes and sighed.

"How about we share it?" Zachary proposed. Evangeline grabbed her scissors and started to cut the waffle. As they ate their waffles, they both started thinking about the previous night.

"Did you mean it?" Zachary finally asked. Evangeline looked at him confused.

"Did I mean what?" Evangeline asked. Zachary looked at his feet, thinking that they were all of a sudden very interesting.

"Did you mean it when you said that you loved me?" Zachary asked shyly. Evangeline blushed and looked at her feet as well.

"Yes." She said, and then she resumed eating her waffle. Zachary smiled and leaned in.

"I meant it too." Zachary said, and then he gave her a quick peck on her lips.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"ZAC! TIME TO GO HOME!" Danny yelled. Zachary packed up his stuff and he and Evangeline came running down the stairs hand in hand. Danny gave Zachary the death glare, and Zachary quickly let go of Evangeline's hand.

"Your dad's car is still at the lab, so I offered to give you a lift back home. Evan, you coming?" Danny asked. Evangeline bolted out the door, followed by Zachary, leaving Danny to stand there, dumbfound.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Hey man!" Flack said, pulling his son into a hug. Zachary pulled away.

"Dad! I'm too old for hugs!" Zachary said. Danny got out of the car and laughed.

"You're just like your mother." Danny said, walking up to Flack and giving him a very manly hug.

"How ya holdin' up, man?" Danny asked. Flack shrugged.

"Dunno, really. I mean, Chels is by my side 24/7, helping me get through this, but I still feel kinda empty." Flack said sadly. Danny looked at him like he was crazy.

"But you JUST got a new driveway! New driveways make EVERYONE happy!" Danny exclaimed, pointing to Zachary and Evangeline, who were tracing stuff into the still wet cement.

"ZACHARY ALEJANDRO FLACK! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT WRITING IN THE CEMENT?" Flack yelled. Zachary looked at him innocently.

"But pa!" Zachary said. Flack glared at him.

"I'll go up to my room." Zachary said. Evangeline looked around.

"I'll be waitin' in the car." Evangeline said as she bolted for the car. Flack and Danny were curious, so they went to see what their kids were writing in the cement. They both looked and grinned at what was written

_Evangeline & Zachary  
BFFL_

_**The end

* * *

**_

_Hope y'all liked it. If you don't understand what BFFL means, it means best friends for life. REVIEWS ARE LIKE CANDY, SO REVIEW PLEASE! More reviews sooner chapter 9 will be up._

_Huggles _

_Kawaii-babi_


	9. I Look Like Gerard Way!

**Chapter 9: I Look Like Gerard Way**

**Written By: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Chicken Ceaser Lean Cuisine**

_**Disclaimer: **__All I owns is Zachary Alejandro Flack and Evangeline Aidan Messer.

* * *

_

"Please?" Evangeline begged. Zachary got up on a chair.

"I SAID NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO PUT MAKEUP ON ME!" Zachary yelled, climbing up on top of the bookcase and crawling into the fetal position. Evangeline glared at him.

"You're being uber immature…" Evangeline said. Zachary popped his head out of his arms.

"I'M being uber immature? Look at YOU! You're trying to make me over!" Zachary yelled. Evangeline sighed and put the makeup down.

"I put the makeup down. Now will you PLEASE come down?" Evangeline pleaded. Zachary looked to see if she was lying, and then he made his slow decent down the bookcase. Unfortunately for him, he didn't know that his best friend had a roll of duck tape in her hand. Once he got down, Evangeline tackled him to the chair and duck taped him to it.

"HEY! What's the big idea?" Zachary asked. Evangeline grinned evilly and pulled out her makeup. Zachary's eyes went wide.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zachary yelled.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"I'm almost done, Zac…" Evangeline said, smudging the eyeliner she just applied on him. She pulled back and admired her work.

"THANK GOD!" Zachary exclaimed. Evangeline pulled out her mirror and showed it to Zachary.

"I look like Gerard Way!" Zachary wined. Evangeline looked at him.

"Did I tell you that I am VERY attracted to Gerard Way?" Evangeline asked Zachary. Zachary smiled.

"I LOOK LIKE GERARD WAY!" Zachary exclaimed happily. Evangeline giggled and kissed Zachary on the nose.

"I told you you'd like it." Evangeline said happily. She then proceeded to unwrap the duck tape.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

Chelsea and Don were sitting in the Messer's kitchen, waiting for Zachary to come down.

"Where is he?" Chelsea asked Don. Don shrugged his shoulders and sipped his coffee. Lindsay rolled her eyes.

"I'll go get them." Lindsay said, as she walked up the stairs to her daughter's room. She opened the door and was shocked at what she saw.

"EVANGELINE AIDAN MESSER! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" Lindsay shrieked. Evangeline pulled away from Zachary quickly.

"Hi mom! I was… uh… giving Zachary… CPR?" Evangeline said. Lindsay glared at her.

"You two. Downstairs. NOW!" Lindsay said angrily. They both bolted for the door and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, thinking they were safe.

"Now what was Lindsay yelling about?" Flack asked them. They both turned around and smiled weakly.

"Evangeline was fuck… uh… giving me CPR." Zachary said. Chelsea started laughing her ass off. Lindsay came down the stairs and looked at Chelsea like she was crazy.

"That… was… the same… excuse… I used…. When I was… your age." Evangeline said through giggles. Evangeline sighed.

"I should go to my room, right?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay looked at her.

"Nope… You're going to wait until your father gets home… and then you're going to explain what happened here." Lindsay said. Evangeline's eyes went wide.

"But MOM!" Evangeline wined. Lindsay smiled.

"No buts…" Lindsay said. Evangeline groaned. There was an awkward silence.

"What happened to your face?" Don asked Zachary. Zachary grinned.

"I look like Gerard Way!" He exclaimed. Flack groaned.

"This is gonna be a long day." Don said. Everyone erupted into laughter.

* * *

_Shorter than usual, I know… DON'T BLAME ME! BLAME MY COMPUTER!_


	10. I Hate You

**Chapter 10: I Hate You**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi **

**Edited by: frozen Pepsi**

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own CSI: NY… the idea for this chapter is from Kaoli Water Goddess… Thankies for the help! No disrespect towards Paris Hilton was intended in this chapter.

* * *

_

Danny walked in the house and closed the door behind him.

"I'm home!" Danny announced. No answer. He walked into the kitchen and saw Evangeline sitting at the table like she did something wrong. He also saw his wife, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed.

"Did I come at a bad time?" Danny asked. Lindsay shook her head.

"No, we've been sitting here, waiting for you to come home." Lindsay said coldly. Evangeline bowed her head. Danny looked at her.

"What did she do now?" Danny asked confusedly.

"Ask her." Lindsay said. Danny went closer to his daughter.

"Evan… what did you do this time?" Danny asked. Evangeline tucked her head down further. Danny looked at his wife, who then sighed.

"I went upstairs to get Zachary to come down because Don and Chels were here to pick him up, and I walked in on her giving CPR, or so she said." Lindsay said. Danny's eyes went wide, and then he looked at Evangeline.

"Evan, is this true?" Danny asked. Evangeline looked up and cautiously nodded. Danny stood up.

"Evangeline… I'm not angry." Danny said in a flat tone. Both Lindsay and Evangeline looked up in confusion.

"What?" They asked in union. Danny nodded.

"I'm not angry…" At this, Evangeline smiled, but Danny continued.

"I'm very disappointed in you." Danny said. Evangeline's smile vanished. The only thing worse than your parents being angry with you is them being disappointed.

"Evan … I don't think it wise for you to be around Zachary anymore." Danny said. Evangeline started tearing up.

"But daddy!" Evangeline said. Danny looked at her, his face void of emotions.

"I'm sorry, Evan, but… it's for the best." Danny said. Evangeline tried to hold back her tears.

"I can't believe you, daddy! You were even worse than this at my age!" Evangeline yelled, tears streaming from her eyes.

"I DIDN'T HAVE PARENTS WHO CARED!" Danny yelled back. Evangeline stood up.

"OH SO YOU THINK NOT LETTING ME HANG OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND IS SHOWING THAT YOU CARE?" Evangeline challenged. Danny nodded.

"Yeah! Yeah I do! That kid is bad news!" Danny said angrily. Evangeline bowed her head.

"I hate you." She said quietly. Danny stood in shock.

"Excuse me?" Danny asked. Evangeline stood quietly.

"Get out of my sight." Danny said. Evangeline looked up and saw the pain and anger that was in her father's face. She slowly walked to her room. After Lindsay was sure her daughter was in her room, she went to Danny and hugged him.

"She hates me." Danny chocked out. Lindsay rubbed his back soothingly.

"She just needs some time to cool off." Lindsay said calmly. She pulled back and Danny smiled meekly.

"She's just like me, ain't she?" Danny asked. Lindsay smiled.

"Uh-huh." Lindsay said. It was quiet for a moment.

"Did you mean it when you said that she couldn't see Zachary anymore?" Lindsay asked. Danny shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't really know anymore. It kills me to see her like this… but… that kid worries me." Danny said. Lindsay looked at him.

"Danny… She has good judgment… she won't do anything that's 100 stupid… we raised her well. I think it's time we let her experience things on her own." Lindsay said. Danny sighed.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Danny said. He sat down and grabbed a beer.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"_What? Why would he do that?"_ Zachary asked. Evangeline sighed and put her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she plopped down on her bed.

"Because he's a dick." Evangeline said angrily

"_Don't say that, Eve… You know it's not true_." Zachary said soothingly.

"Yes it is, Zac! He told me that I can't see you anymore! It's not fair!" Evangeline wined.

"_Give him some time to cool off… Tomorrow, go up to him and say that you're sorry_." Zachary said. Evangeline snorted.

"Me? Apologize? That's like asking Paris Hilton to go one day without sleeping with a guy!" Evangeline exclaimed. Zachary sighed.

"_Eve… I'm being serious_." Zachary said. Evangeline grunted.

"You're right Zac… I'll call you tomorrow, 'kay?" Evangeline asked. Zachary smiled, suddenly forgetting that you can't send a smile through the phone.

"'_kay. G'night."_ Zachary said. Evangeline sighed.

"Love you." She said. It was quiet for a moment.

"_Love you too_." Zachary said, and then he hung up. Evangeline sat listening to the dial tone for a moment, and then she happily snapped her pink Motorola Razor.

* * *

_I know I promised no more sad chappies, but I had to put this in…It was a kind of happy ending… wasn't it? I'm losing inspiration here… so if you have any ideas, please PM me or e-mail me (e-mail found on profile)_

_Thanks again to Kaoli Water Goddess for the idea. Without you… I would have been sitting at my comp for a while before I would've had a good enough idea for this chapter. I will now write a poem of thanks._

_Can someone help me write a poem?  
_

_Lol!_

_Thanks a ton again…_

_Your friendly neighborhood, Kawaii-babi_


	11. Cookies

**Chapter 11: Cookies**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: The mystic powers of Madonna**

_**Disclaimer: **__Pen15... 'nuff said... _

_ILU CHELS!_

_I made cookies

* * *

_

There was a soft knocking at the door. Evangeline looked up from her book to see Danny at the door with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. She plopped her head back down and put her pillow over her head.

"Get away!" Evangeline screamed through her pillow. Danny didn't move from his spot. After about 3 minutes, Evangeline looked up and saw her father still in his place. She groaned loudly.

"Why can't you just leave me alone, dad? Haven't you ruined my life enough?" Evangeline asked. Danny placed the cookies and milk on the bedside table and sat himself down on her bed.

"Evan… I'm sorry for before… I overreacted a bit." Danny said, but Evangeline couldn't hear him. She still had her pillow over her head and was now humming loudly. Danny sighed and pulled the pillow off her head. Evangeline started humming louder. Danny shook his head.

"Evan… I can sit here all night and tomorrow's my day off… so you're gonna havta stop humming eventually." Danny said to no one in particular. Evangeline stopped.

"Why aren't you leaving?" Evangeline asked. Danny sighed.

"I came to apologize and to give you some milk and cookies. I overreacted a bit about telling you that your not allowed to see Zachary. I was scared to see my little girl growing up." Danny said sincerely. Evangeline hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear.

"Your little girl never left and never will." Evangeline whispered. Danny grinned and pulled back.

"What about the milk and cookies? Do you want them, or should I take them back to the kitchen?" Danny asked jokingly. Evangeline jumped for the cookies and stuffed them into her mouth.

"My cookies!" Evangeline said, the sound being muffled by the cookies. Danny gave a hearty laugh. Evangeline swallowed the cookies and looked at her father.

"Does this mean that I'm allowed to hang out with Zachary now?" Evangeline asked. Danny looked at his watch.

"Nope." Danny said. Evangeline glared at him.

"I'm sorry, Evan, but it's 7 past 11, way too late to be going to see a friend." Danny said apologetically. Evangeline laughed and grabbed another cookie.

"Can I go tomorrow?" Evangeline asked. Danny nodded. Evangeline giggled.

"So I'm getting off without punishment?" Evangeline asked. Danny shook his head.

"Sorry, sweetheart, you're not getting off THAT easily. You remember that puppy we're gonna get you?" Danny asked. Evangeline nodded cautiously.

"You're not getting the puppy." Danny said. Evangeline groaned.

"How could this get any worse?" Evangeline asked. Danny laughed.

"It can get A LOT worse. You just wait 'till tomorrow, when your mom is up." Danny said. Evangeline looked down at her plate.

"Daddy… If I give you the last cookie, can I get my puppy?" Evangeline asked. Danny pondered for a second, took the cookie and took a nibble of it.

"Nope." Danny said, popping the 'pe'. Evangeline glared.

"You promised…" Evangeline said. Danny glared back.

"YOU promised that you wouldn't be going around kissing guys." Danny said. Evangeline looked at him.

"Zachary's just not a guy! You know him! He wouldn't take advantage of me!" Evangeline said. Danny looked at her.

"You're right." Danny said. He got up and walked out the door. A few seconds later, he popped his head back in.

"No puppy." Danny announced. Evangeline chucked the glass at his head, but Danny was quicker than that. He closed the door just as the glass came hurdling towards him and broke on the door.

"Boo you, Daddy!" Evangeline yelled. She heard her father laugh from the other side of the door.

* * *

_Was that happy go lucky enough for you guys? Cuz if it wasn't, I can make it happy go lucky-er. What did you think? Good? Bad? Fergalicious? Jordalicious? Bootylicious? Something that doesn't end in 'ious'? Should I shut up and let you guys review? OMG! CSI: NY is on!!! I really gotta go but I can't stop typing. Chelsea… help me… By the way, you guys… tell me what Evangeline should do next._


	12. Cool Quenchers

**Chapter 12: Cool Quenchers  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: …

* * *

**

_**Dislaimer:** Don't own CSI: or the cool quenchers commercial... I do own myself though_

_I just want to thank one of the guys in my drama class for giving me the inspiration for this chappie. I would also like to thank the reviewers for all the awesome reviews…_

_I don't feel like sending separate review replies, so I'm writing them right here! _

(Reviews for chapter 11)

_Chili-peppers: I'd be dead too… Don't worry; she'll pay for it._

_Wat26: It's not that she's spoiled… it's the fact that her parents think in advance… if you went to bed with broken glass by your door, wouldn't you forget about it in the morning when you woke up? You're right though… Danny and Lindsay are WAY too lenient._

_Misti1819: My friend Zac (whom Zachary is loosely based on P) has a pink Motorola Razor. He was so proud when he showed me._

_Kaoli Water Goddess: you are voted best reviewer ever… lol! I should explain this to the world… Lindsay's on the pill… if she weren't, then they would probably have like… 12 kids at least… P_

_Messermonroe: I can't wait for more either! Oh wait… I have to write it… shit…lol! _

AnimeMaster13333: Is that all you can say? --

_Susan (__susan111live.nl__): Evangeline and Zachary WILL make out. Oh and there are a few people in the world with the name Evangeline. Do you watch the show LOST? Because one of the actresses on the show is Evangeline Lilly. Google image search her._

_PrettyEyes72: If you went to bed with broken glass by your door, wouldn't you forget about it in the morning when you woke up? Btw… I'm a drama geek, so I'm certified un-cool. Hyper spirited Kawaii-babi is coming back in this chapter!_

_MesserMontana4ever: Everyone has their off-days; so don't worry if you can't think of a word that ends in 'licious'. I think we should boycott school! P… I'll use one of your suggestions soon._

_ChelseaTheLoser: I love you 3 LOL! More Zac & Evan coming up… Also… More Chels & Flack. P My improv coach told me that you couldn't send food by mail… so that's a bummer… hee hee! I said BUM! Bum can also translate to hobo…_

_Now… ON WITH THY FIC! (That didn't make sense… did it?) _

Evangeline woke up sometime around noon. She rubbed her eyes and got out of bed. She walked to the door, and then she felt a sharp pain in her feet.

"SHIT!" Evangeline yelled. She looked down at her feet and saw millions of shards of glass stuck in her feet, and a lot of blood. She mentally slapped herself as she pulled the glass out of her feet. After removing the last shard, she put her slippers on and made her way down to the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen and ran straight for the fridge.

"Up already? It isn't even 2 o'clock." Someone said from behind her. Evangeline groaned and she turned around to see the one person she didn't want to see at the moment.

"Hi mom… What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" Evangeline said nervously. Lindsay was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

"I was… but I'm not feeling that well today, so your father's going in for me." Lindsay stated, and then she took a sip of her coffee. Evangeline nodded.

"That's great." Evangeline said nervously. She had suddenly lost her appetite. Lindsay then pointed at the chair across from her.

"Sit down." Lindsay said sweetly. Evangeline cautiously sat down, and was disappointed when it didn't explode, like she thought it would.

"Evangeline…" Lindsay said in a serious tone. Before she could continue, Evangeline started to talk.

"I'm sorry mom! I shouldn't have been doing that yesterday! You're always telling me not to make out with guys but Zachary's not like most guys and…" Evangeline rambled on until Lindsay stuck a muffin in her mouth.

"Can I talk now?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline spat out the muffin and nodded.

"Evangeline… Zachary is a really nice guy. I approve of him, so long as he doesn't take advantage of you. I see the way his face lights up when he sees you, and how he…" Lindsay said dreamily until she was cut off by Evangeline stuffing a muffin in her mouth.

"Mom! Stop it with the mushy stuff!" Evangeline yelled. Lindsay spit out the muffin and smiled.

"You love him, don't you?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline shot up from her chair.

"MOM! I'M 12 YEARS OLD!" Evangeline exclaimed. Lindsay looked at her for a few minutes, and then Evangeline sat down in defeat.

"Yes…" Evangeline whispered. Lindsay raised her eyebrow.

"What was that?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline sighed.

"Yes" She muttered a little louder.

"What?" Lindsay asked again, with a smile on her face that was ignored by Evangeline.

"YES! YES! YES! YES! I LOVE ZACHARY!" Evangeline exclaimed. Lindsay grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Evangeline loves Zachary, Evangeline loves Zachary, Evangeline loves Zachary." Lindsay chanted. Evangeline blushed and ran up to her room.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

Zachary sat on his bed, lazily fiddling with the blue and red bracelet on his wrist, thinking about the day he got it. His 8th birthday.

Flashback 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACHARY!" Everyone yelled as Zachary walked into the lab with his mom. He couldn't help but laugh. The lab was decorated in blue and red, the colours of Zachary's favorite super hero, Spiderman. Blue and red streamers, Spiderman balloons, and best of all, THE Mac Taylor, dressed up in a Spiderman outfit. Evangeline suddenly popped up behind him.

"Happy birthday, Zac! I made you a friendship bracelet!" Evangeline announced, giving him a blue and red bracelet. Zachary looked at it for a moment.

"Eve… This is twisted cobra… how long did this take you?" Zachary asked. Evangeline twirled her hair around her finger and looked down at her feet.

"A coupl'a days…" She said. Zachary grinned and put it on.

"I love it." Zachary said, as he pulled his best friend into a hug.

End Flashback 

Zachary was interrupted from his thoughts by the doorbell ringing. He ran down the stairs and opened the door slightly so that he could see who it was. He was shocked when he saw Evangeline there.

"Eve? What are you doing here?" Zachary asked. Evangeline grinned and leaved against the wall.

"Can I come in?" Evangeline asked. Zachary opened the door and let her in.

"Aren't you not supposed to see me?" Zachary asked. Evangeline glared at him.

"What? You don't want to see me?" Evangeline asked, tearing up slightly. Zachary opened his mouth to apologize, but Evangeline suddenly erupted into laughter. Zachary raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"I'm playing around with you, Zac. Last night, my daddy came and apologized to me, and he said that he overreacted and all that jazz… but he also said that I'm not getting a puppy." Evangeline sad sadly, Zachary laughed and pulled her onto the couch.

"I love you." Zachary said out of the blue. Evangeline giggled and lifted her lips to meet his in a chaste kiss.

"Ditto." Evangeline said. Suddenly, her stomach started rumbling. Zachary heard this, so he got up and went into the kitchen. He came back with a plate of apples and a pitcher of cool quenchers and 2 cups. They turned the TV on and relaxed in each other's arms. They drank and ate together, laughing at some of the stupid commercials. After a while, they both grabbed for the pitcher of cool quenchers, only to realize that there was only enough for one person.

"I'll arm wrestle you for the last glass of cool quenchers." Evangeline said. Zachary glared at her.

"You're on!" Zachary said. They locked hands and engaged in battle (lol… sounds so weird.) It looked like Zachary was winning for a moment, but then Evangeline pinned his arm down.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. She grabbed for the pitcher, but she realized it was empty. They looked to their side and they saw Zachary's little half-sister, Kyla-Marie with a sippy cup filled to the rim with cool quenchers. She sipped her drink and looked up at them innocently.

"I love you." She said, taking another sip of her drink.

_The end..

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_

_Aren't little siblings a pain in the derriere? REVIEW!_


	13. Happy Birthday

**Chapter 13: Happy Birthday**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: Grace Kelly**

**_Disclaimer: _**_Don't own CSI: NY _

Reviews for chapter 12

chili-peppers: funny thing is… I'm not brilliant… :P. This fic loves you too.

_Ashley Booth: how about making you gasp one second… and then laugh the next??? Kawaii-babi _

Susan (**_susan111live.nl_**_): 12 year olds do tell each other that they love each other. Other than that… I have nothing to say_

_Kaoli Water Goddess: I bet she does too…I was on the other end of a joke today too…:P_

_Messermonroe: amusing? Is that a compliment now? Seriously! Is it? Cause some people say that I'm amusing as a joke._

_MesserMontana4ever: I love you… 'Nuff said… ooh! I have a word for you! Amazalicious (amazing plus delicious)_

_I would also like to thank the people who give such great suggestions for chapters. Without you guys, I would be at loss…_

_Now I shall write a poem…_

_Oh I love my reviewers,_

_They are cool,_

_I love my reviewers,  
more than school._

_My reviewers are awesome,_

_I love them a lot._

_I love my reviewers,_

_More than a pot lover loves pot._

_:P Now… ON WITH THE FIC

* * *

_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVANGELINE!" Danny and Lindsay yelled excitedly. Evangeline groaned and looked at her clock.

"It's 3:34 am…" Evangeline whined. Lindsay smiled.

"Well… that's the time you were born at." Lindsay said a little too excitedly. Evangeline stared at her mother for a second.

"How much coffee have you had?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay's grin got even bigger.

"7 cups." Lindsay said very matter-of-factly. Evangeline sighed and pulled the blankets up over her head.

"'Night." Evangeline said, stifling a yawn. Danny smiled and pulled the blankets down. Evangeline groaned and buried her face in her pillow. Danny pulled something out of his plaid bathrobe with a mischievous grin on his face.

"AAAAAH! COLD! COLD! COLD!" Evangeline yelled, taking the ice cubes out of the back of her wife beater. One of them slipped down her pink puppy dog PJ shorts, and she ran around the room trying to get it out. Danny and Lindsay looked at each other and burst out into laughter. Evangeline glared at them.

"I'm up… what did you want?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay put her 8th cup of coffee down and looked at her daughter.

"I made a cake…" Lindsay said. Evangeline growled.

"THAT'S what you woke me up for?" Evangeline asked. Danny and Lindsay nodded. Evangeline groaned and walked out the door.

"Are you guys coming?" Evangeline asked. Danny and Lindsay got up and followed their daughter down the stairs.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Mom… where's the cake… I don't see no cake." Evangeline said. She walked into the living room and turned on the light.

"SURPRISE!" Mac, Stella, Peyton, Sid, Flack, Chelsea, Zachary and Hawkes yelled in union. Evangeline laughed and looked at her parents.

"This is what you've been planning all week?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay nodded ecstatically. Danny rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Yep." Zachary said. Evangeline grinned and ran up and hugged her best friend tightly. Zachary laughed and pulled away, making Evangeline pout. Zachary looked at her with a bemused expression and pulled her to the pile of gifts.

"Presents before food… 'Kay?" Zachary asked. Evangeline nodded excitedly.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Okay, so far I've gotten a pair of Uggs from auntie Peyton, a 'How to draw' book from uncle Mac, RENT 2-disk special edition from auntie Chelsea… I love you, gift card for Victoria Secret from auntie Stella… why in the world would I need to go there? I'm only 13! Have you SEEN some of the stuff there? A scalpel from uncle Sid, a stuffed llama from uncle Shelly, and a new baby phat purse from mom and dad…" Evangeline said, writing everything down on a list so that she could send thank you cards.

"Who's next?" Evangeline asked. Flack handed her a box carefully wrapped in Dora the Explorer wrapping paper. She unwrapped it and opened the box and peeked inside. When she saw what it was, she quickly closed it. Flack laughed and everyone else raised their eyebrows. Zachary, who was closest to her, peeked in and blushed. He took a ball of wrapping paper and chucked it at his dad.

"DAD! YOU'RE SICK!" Zachary yelled. Evangeline put her hands on his shoulders to calm him down, and that movement caused the box to fall off her lap and onto the ground, making the box's contents to fall out. The room was silent for a moment and then…

"Is that what I think it is?" Hawkes asked Stella. Stella looked at the object on the floor and nodded.

"Uh-huh…" Stella said. Danny glared at Flack.

"I uh… left my toast in the dryer." Flack said nervously. He then got up and ran out the front door. As soon as he left, everyone burst into laughter.

"Can I open Zac's present now?" Evangeline asked. Zachary took the last present on the floor that had strange holes in it, and handed it to Evangeline. Evangeline took it and pressed her ear to it, and then greedily unwrapped it. She pulled off the cover and smiled.

"IT'S A POMERANIAN PUPPY!" Evangeline squealed as she picked up the brown puppy. She cuddled it, and then looked at Zachary.

"Thank you!" She said. She then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and everyone went 'Aww', making Evangeline blushed. She quickly wrote down the last 2 objects and then she yawned.

"I'm feeling tired, so, I'm going up to bed. And I'm bringing my puppy." Evangeline said, dropping the notepad and picking up the puppy, heading up the stairs. Zachary looked down at the notepad to see if she wrote everything down.

_Peyton: Uggs  
Mac: How to draw book_

_Chelsea: RENT 2-disk special edition  
Stella: VS gift card  
Sid: Scalpel… WTF?  
Shelly: Llama  
Mom & Dad: baby phat purse  
Zac: Pomeranian… I know you're reading this, ilu  
__Flack: Glow in the dark condoms_

_**The end

* * *

**_

_What do you think? It's all up to you guys… without you… I am nothing… NOTHING! Please give me suggestions… and I will probably use them…_

_Now for another poem: _

I like reviews,

_They are fun,_

_I like reviews,_

_And playing with a gun… :P _

I'M JOKING YOU GUYS! You guys are so cool… I love you so much… remember, the quicker you review, the quicker I post. Tell your friends about this fic. REVIEWS ARE LIKE CANDY! By the way… ilu means I love you.

_Muah…_

_Kawaii-babi_


	14. The Talk

**Chapter 14: The Talk**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: The birds and the bees…**

_Hey people! This chapter, I'm going to shift the focus from Evangeline to Zachary and Flack. There will also be a little Evangeline and Lindsay in here. This chapter's idea came from MesserMontana4ever… who is so awesome with her reviews… you guys should take a lesson from her._

_Reviews for chapter 13_

_MesserMontana4ever: CHOCOLICIOUS! OMG! You are SOOO smart. You have won the award for best reviewer. TAKE A BOW! I haven't seen Ocean's Twelve yet.  Maybe she WILL learn how to drive. I love you more…_

_Chili peppers: Yes… trust Flack. And thank you very much._

_ChelseaTheLoser: GLOW IN THE DARK CHELSEA! …I have no idea either. I love you too._

_CarolinaH.Manning: you. Are. Too. Nice_

_Kaoli Water Goddess: I can believe it. :P Danny almost DID beat the shit out of Flack, but Flack came up with a great answer to leave._

_Messermonroe: I was joking about wondering whether or not it was a compliment. I like to be amusing also… but I LOVE acting like a 3 year old… like I did last night with my friend at the movie theater (I love the playroom!) But I LOVE to read your reviews, they are so easy to decipher, it's all on there and you can laugh along. :P By the way, you are an awesome reviewer, and an amusing person, and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise _

_Bluehaven4220: Flack is not funny… he is HILARIOUS._

_Susan (susan111live.nl): Yes, Sid gave her a scalpel. I'll explain why later on._

_Poorrani: I ♥'d your review… and yes it does make more sense when you know their ages._

_Now… ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

_

Zachary Alejandro Flack was lying down on his bed, staring at his ceiling, a smile playing on his lips. He knew she was going to like her present, but what he didn't predict was her reaction to it. Suddenly, there was a knock at his door.

"Come in!" He yelled, sitting up. The door creaked open to reveal Flack with a black eye. Zachary stifled a laugh, knowing EXACTLY who gave it to him. Flack walked in and sat on Zachary's bed.

"Zachary, I came up here to talk to you about something that my dad talked to me about when I was your age." Flack said. Zachary looked up at him.

"Dad? What are you talking about?" Zachary asked. Flack looked at him.

"Well, at your age, you start to change and you start getting… uh… certain… URGES." Flack said, hinting something. Zachary was quiet for a moment, deep in thought.

"DAD! NO! UGH! DO WE _HAVE _TO TALK ABOUT THIS?" Zachary exclaimed. Flack put his hand over Zachary's mouth to shush him.

"Chelsea and Kyla-Marie are sleeping, bozo." Flack said jokingly. Zachary pushed his father's hand away.

"Do we SERIOUSLY have to talk about this today?" Zachary asked. Flack sighed.

"I keep pushing this off, thinking that you're not ready, but then your reaction to the kiss Evangeline gave you, it's only a matter of time before you…" Flack said.

"Dad!" Zachary exclaimed, pulling his pillow over his head.

"Zachary… I KNOW you can still hear me, so, I'm going to keep talking. As you get older, you notice that you start to change. You get taller, you become more toned, you start getting hair on your face, armpits, chest, arms, legs, back… and… OTHER places. This is called puberty." Flack said. Zachary cringed in fear.

"You've been rehearsing this, haven't you?" Zachary asked nervously. Flack smiled.

"Yes." He said simply. Zachary groaned and put his face in his hands.

"Anywho… as you go through puberty, you start noticing GIRLS. Girls also go through puberty, but in a different way. Take Evangeline, for example…" Flack said, but was cut off by Zachary screaming.

"DAD! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT!" Zachary yelled. Flack gave a smirk of satisfaction.

"I knew it." Flack said. Zachary blushed.

"If you tell uncle Danny, he'll ring my neck." Zachary said. Flack patted him on the back.

"I won't tell him." Flack said, making Zachary smile.

"So you'll start noticing girls, and how they change, and you'll want to do certain THINGS to them. Like… missionary, or 69, or doggy…" Flack said. Zachary groaned.

"Dad! That's GROSS! Are you TRYING to get me turned off the idea of sex?" Zachary asked. Flack stood up and smiled.

"My work here is done." Flack said as he left the room. Zachary sat on his bed in shock.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"So you'll get taller, you'll get some curves and you'll get hair on your legs, arms, armpits, among other places." Lindsay said. Evangeline had her fingers in her ears.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALEELEELA!" Evangeline yelled. Lindsay sighed and stood up.

"You're going to have to pay attention ONE of these days." Lindsay said. Evangeline yelled even louder. Lindsay sighed and left the room. The moment she closed the door, Evangeline smiled and took her fingers out of her ears and picked up her cell phone to call Zachary. She dialed the familiar number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" Zachary asked. Evangeline smiled.

"Hi Zachary!" Evangeline exclaimed. Zachary gulped.

"Hi… Eve." Zachary said nervously. Evangeline raised her eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Zac? Did my dad beat your dad up again? 'Cause if he did…" Evangeline said. Zachary laughed nervously.

"No, it's not that, it's…" Zachary tried to say, but he couldn't. Evangeline was confused.

"It's what, Zac?" Evangeline asked.

"Birds… bees." Zachary said, and then he hung up. Evangeline listened to the dial tone for a moment, and then she snapped her phone shut, smiling.

"Loser." She said with a smile.

**_The end

* * *

_**

_Okay, to clear that last bit, the loser part was a joke, because he was stupid enough NOT to block his ears. Anywho… Please give me ideas for the next chapter… and the chapter after that… and all that stuff. And no… I shall NOT write a smut fic. NO matter how much you ask, NO! NO! NO!_

_Losta Love  
Kawaii-babi_


	15. The Penis Game?

**Chapter 15: The Penis Game?  
****Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: PENIS! PENIS!**

_Have you ever played the penis game? It's quite a simple game to play. One person starts off by whispering 'penis' and then someone else says it a little louder and you keep on going until the teacher gets pissed (that part usually happens when everyone is screaming it at the top of their lungs) It's a simple and amusing game to play and it is so fun… wait… did I just say that? Oh well… Play the penis game… I promise you you'll laugh your head off with your friends. Please don't blame me for any or all trouble you get into. :D**  
**_

_Reviews for chapter 14_

_Kaoli Water Goddess: You're stumped too? Oh god! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO? Crappy hotels are the WORST kind of hotels… except for the ones that have murderers in them. XP is all I can say about your experience._

_Poorrani: I always ♥ your reviews. They fill me with sweet sugary happiness. No sweat… you don't HAVE to suggest anything._

_BlueHaven4220: You'll see what's gonna happen… PENIS_

_MesserMontana4ever: Spiderman, Spiderman, he's one sexy delicious man (tune to Spiderman theme song) I'm postponing that idea you had for chapter 16… only 'cause the penis game is so fun. :P But when I'm done writing it… I want you to be the first to read it… so add my msn and talk to me there… or give me your email._

_Chili-peppers: Flack's last line was an accident :_

_Tonik2255: I wish I could hint hint xx_

_Messermonroe: Danny would have been like "No more dating until you're 50… you got that? Good. Now sex is bad, so don't have sex, because you will get clamedia and DIE!" :P_

_Now…_

_PENIS!_

_I mean…  
_

_On_

_With _

The

Fic!

* * *

Evangeline and Zachary sat nervously in Mac Taylor's office, waiting for their parents to arrive. Mac was sitting at his desk with his hands neatly folded on the desk.

"They're going to be here soon. Would you like to tell me anything before they come?" Mac asked the two teens. Evangeline looked at her feet and Zachary was fighting the smile that was appearing on his face.

"Zachary… Anything?" Mac asked Zachary. Zachary burst out into laughter, and Evangeline shook her head.

"PENIS GAME!" Zachary exclaimed. Mac looked at him like he was a mental case and Evangeline smacked him on the head.

"Zac! Shut up loser!" Evangeline said through closed teeth. Zachary slowed his breathing down and sat back on his chair.

"Sorry uncle Mac…" Zachary said calmly. Mac nodded and then answered his cell phone.

"Taylor… Yeah, Danny, they're here. I picked them both up. They'll explain what happened. No, all I could get out from them was something that sounded like the Jesus Game, but I can't understand teenage laughter… yeah Danny… Tell Flack that he can go shove a stick up his… never mind. See you in 5 then…" Mac said, as he snapped his phone shut with a smile on his face.

"Your parents are going to be here in 5 minutes, and they will want to know what happened, so I suggest that if you want to be in the least amount of trouble possible, you should just come out with it and not put it off until the last minute. Okay?" Mac asked. The two teens nodded nervously, thinking about what they were going to tell their parents.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Evangeline Aidan Messer!" Danny practically yelled as he walked into Mac's office. He took Evangeline's arm tightly in his hands and walked out the door with her. He walked to his office and sat her down on Lindsay's chair.

"What the hell, Evan? I'm at a crime scene and I get a call from your school saying that you did something stupid and I had to call Stella to take over for me! This is fucking embarrassing, Evan! What the hell did you do?" Danny yelled. Evangeline looked at her father and sighed.

"Well, it was the middle of Sex Ed…" Evangeline started.

_Flashback_

Evangeline and Zachary sat in their Sex Ed class, working on the project that they had to do. They had to become parents for an egg, which they decided to name Sir Eggbert Eggithel (pronounced egg-eth-elle) and were looking at each other lovingly. Unbeknownst Evangeline, Zachary had drawn a butt on the egg.

"Penis" Someone in the class whispered. Evangeline looked around to see if she could find who the culprit was. She looked in time to see Jeff, one of the hottest guys in her class 'second best to Zac' She added in her mind, open his mouth and whisper.

"Penis" He said a little louder.

"Penis" Dana said a little louder.

"Penis" Tyler said in his normal volume. Suddenly, the whole class was in on it. Evangeline decided to join in.

"PENIS!" She yelled as loud as she could.

"PENIS!" Zachary yelled even louder.

"EVANGELINE AND ZACHARY TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE NOW!" The teacher yelled. Evangeline and Zachary got up and walked to the principle's office, while the rest of the class laughed their heads off.

_End Flashback_

"You see, daddy, it wasn't really my fault, it's because of my class peer-pressuring me into it." Evangeline said. Danny sat down and ran his hands through his gorgeous blonde hair.

"If your class was peer-pressuring you into jumping off a cliff, would you do it?" Danny asked. Evangeline sat there.

"Depends on how tall the cliff is and will I have a parachute on my back?" Evangeline asked. Danny grinned the famous Messer grin.

"You truly are your mother's daughter." Danny said. Evangeline laughed and fell off her chair.

"Ow." She said as she got up, rubbing her butt.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"I'm gonna ask you one more time, Zachary. Why the hell did you get kicked out of class?" Flack asked, shining the light on Zachary, who winced at the brightness.

"WE WERE PLAYING THE PENIS GAME, DAD!" Zachary yelled. Flack gave a hearty laugh.

"Yeah, and Chelsea's the queen of England. Seriously, Zac. The sooner you tell me the truth, the sooner you can get back to your girlfriend." Flack said, making Zachary blush.

"I'm telling you the truth! Call her and ask her what happened!" Zachary begged, taking his Chocolate Phone out of his pocket and sliding it across the table to his dad. Flack picked it up and looked at it like it was some foreign object.

"Go on, dad! Call her!" Zachary yelled. Flack sighed and gave Zachary his phone back.

"I'm calling Danny. That way I'll KNOW you're not trying to gang up on me." Flack said, taking his phone out of his pocket and dialing the familiar number.

"Hey Danno! What did Evangeline say about what happened today? … Oh really? Wow… Umm… This is kind of awkward… because Zachary told me the same thing… but I thought he was lying… He ALWAYS tells tall tales, that's why! …Yeah, yeah! I know! Yeah… mhm… Listen, Dan, I gotta go tell my son that I'm an idiot. Yeah… buh bye." Flack said, as he snapped his phone shut. He turned around and saw Zachary grinning like an idiot.

"I told you…" Zachary said, but was interrupted by Flack.

"Don't you DARE finish that sentence…" Flack said, trailing off at the end, leaving an open threat.

**_The end_**

* * *

_How'd you guys like it? I worked so hard to write this for you! Please review and I shall love you forever and like you for always, because as long as I'm living, my reviewers you'll be. :P _

Now for a poem

_I love my reviewers,_

_They are hot,_

_I love my reviewers,_

_I don't like pot_

_Lotsa love._

_Your friendly neighborhood,_

_Kawaii-babi_


	16. Spiderman is Sexy, The Venom is Vicious

**Chapter 16: Spiderman is Sexy, The Venom is Vicious and Harry is Hot  
****Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Uncle Ben**

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own CSI: NY or Spiderman 3. I did go to see Spiderman 3 and it's AWESOME_

_Caution: This chapter contains making out in a theater and getting caught… Poor kids. Let's fast-forward their ages to… say… 14 and 15…_

_REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 15_

_MesserMontana4ever: Let's all play the penis game… Penilicious… :P you are very reviewalicious! 2 WORDS! I'M SO WORDALICIOUS! Make that 3 words… _

chili-peppers: defo? Wtf? Ok… umm… you are defo one of my best reviewers…

_Bluehaven4220: DO IT THEN! It's fun! You RARELY get into trouble! Come on… DO IT! _

ChelseaTheLoser: It's spelled 'genius' Chels… You are such a genius… You always bug me about spelling things wrong… so I shall do the same to you! BWAHAHAHA!

_Messermonroe: I don't rock… rocks hurt when you chuck them at people… I don't XD_

_Now… ON_

_WITH_

_THE _

_NAKED_

_SPIDERMAN…_

_I_

_MEAN_

_THE_

_FIC_

…

……

……

……

…

* * *

Evangeline and Zachary sat in the movie theater, side by side, watching Spiderman 3 (best movie ever) sharing a TCBY, since Evangeline hated the smell of popcorn. Zachary looked over at her, saw that her eyes were fixed on the screen (it was the part where Harry walked out of the machine in only his undies) so he decided to do… the move. He yawned REALLY loudly and stretched his arm around Evangeline and laid it to rest on her shoulder. Evangeline smiled and leaned her head onto his shoulder. 

"I look better than that in my boxers, don't I?" Zachary asked. Evangeline pondered for a second.

"You look better than most guys do, I'll give you that." Evangeline said confidently. Zachary didn't know what to think, so he shrugged it off and put some TCBY in the spoon, and then placed it near his girlfriend's mouth.

"Say 'ahhhhh'" Zachary said. Evangeline smiled and opened her mouth.

"Ahhhhh!" She said, opening her mouth as wide as she could. Zachary put the TCBY almost in her mouth, and then replaced the spoon with his lips. Evangeline giggled and reached for the spoon.

"Hungry!" Evangeline said like a little kid. Zachary sighed and plopped the spoon into her mouth.

"Thank you!" She said, plopping the spoon back into the TCBY. They watched the movie for a while and then Zachary broke the comfortable silent that fell upon them.

"Do I look better than ANY of these guys?" Zachary asked. Evangeline smiled.

"Well, you know… Spiderman is sexy, the Venom is Vicious and Harry is Hot." Evangeline listed. Zachary looked at her with sad eyes.

"And what about me?" Zachary asked. Evangeline smiled.

"You're mine." Evangeline said, leaning in for a kiss, but Zachary pulled away with a mischievous grin on his face.

"What else?" Zachary asked. Evangeline sighed.

"You have the body of a god. Now… can I have my kiss please?" Evangeline asked. Zachary smiled.

"Okay." He said, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. Evangeline moaned, making Zachary smirk and deepen the kiss. Unbeknownst them, they were being watched.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Flack… tell your son to get his paws off my daughter." Danny growled. Flack was looking at Danny like he should put a leash on him.

"Down, boy… it's not like she's not a willing participant." Flack said jokingly. Danny glared at him.

"If you and Chels EVER want to be able to have kids again, you should take that comment back." Danny said. Flack gulped and nodded. Danny held onto the armrest so tightly that Flack thought it was going to rip off.

"Danno… Cool down, okay? Come on, maybe we should go get a mars bar." Flack suggested. Danny nodded and got up, his eyes never leaving his daughter until he left the theater.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"_What do you mean, you caught her making out with Zachary in the theater?" _Lindsay asked. Danny nodded.

"That's exactly what I just said." Danny said. He heard Lindsay sigh.

"_Don't go doing anything stupid, okay? Better yet… why don't you just come home? I have something I want to tell you…" _Lindsay said. Danny sighed.

"Why can't you just tell me now?" Danny asked.

"_Because you'll want to hear it in person."_ Lindsay said. Danny took the mars bar that was in Flack's outstretched hand and opened it.

"I love you." Danny said.

"_I love you too." _Lindsay replied, and then she hung up.

"I love you too!" Flack said at the same time that Lindsay did, earning a smack from Danny. Flack rubbed his cheek and then followed Danny back into the theater.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Zac! Stop it! I want to watch the movie." Evangeline said as Zachary kept gently nipping her neck, tickling her in the process.

"You know you LIKE it." Zachary said, making Evangeline giggle.

"Stop it or I'll walk out of here right now and call my daddy and…" Evangeline trailed off at the end and looked at Zachary's expression.

"No! Not your dad! ANYONE except your dad!" Zachary begged. Someone a few rows behind them told them to shut up and threw the bucket of popcorn at them. Evangeline pulled her shirt over her nose and almost puked. Zachary turned to threaten the little punks that threw the popcorn, but then he saw the 2 people he so didn't want to see.

"Eve… don't turn around… but I think that your dad and my dad are here." Zachary said. Evangeline whipped her head around to see Danny and Flack sit down. She turned back around and grinned at Zachary.

"Should we show them what we do in a movie theater, Zac?" Evangeline asked. Zachary looked at her with a shocked expression, and then grinned.

"C'mere." Zachary said, pulling her into a passionate kiss. They practically heard the blood vessels in Danny's forehead pop. They also heard Flack trying to calm Danny down. They pulled away form each other and smiled.

"You know… This is kinda fun." Zachary admitted. Evangeline laughed and put her head on Zachary's chest.

"You know, I still think that Spiderman is sexy, The Venom is vicious and Harry is hot… but you have the bod of a god." Evangeline said. Zachary grinned and kissed her on the forehead.

"And Jessica Alba has a nice rack." Zachary said, earning a slap from Evangeline. They both heard Danny yell 'that's my GIRL', but they shrugged it off, knowing that Danny couldn't do anything.

_**The end**_

* * *

_What did Lindsay want to tell Danny? Review and you'll find out._

_I  
__LOVE  
MY  
REVIEWERS! _

Kawaii-babi


	17. You're WHAT?

**Chapter 17: You're WHAT?  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: xXxXx**

_Everyone wants to know what Lindsay had to tell Danny… so here it is… Or is it? I'll just make the author's note so long… but you seriously need to read this stuff… it will tell you about what you need to know… Full descriptions of OCs and all that jazz._

_Evangeline: 5 foot 6  
Dirty blonde hair  
Electric blue eyes  
25" waistband_

_Medium top  
B 36 (girls will get this)  
Pale skin _

Zachary: 5 foot 9  
Jet black hair  
Flack's eyes  
32" waistband  
Athletic build  
tanned skin

_Chelsea: 5 foot 2  
Dark Brown  
Hazel-Orange_

_25" waistband  
Medium top  
Pale-ish skin _

there we go… and Kyla-Marie is like… the perfect blend of Flack & Chelsea. Chelsea's eyes, Flack's hair, yadda…

_Reviews for chapter 16_

_ChelseaTheLoser: yes… Evan is preggers… _

Poorrani: You think? LOL! I love messing with people's heads.

_Bluehaven4220: Jessica Alba is every man's fantasy… P _

_Chili peppers: you want more over-protective Danny? _

Tonikk2255: PENIS

abbeguytje: Your wish is my command

Kaoli Water Goddess: THAT'S MY REVIEWER! You're so smart! Have a pony!

_Mitsi1819: Poor you… I have next-to-no love life… but I flirt… a lot… ask anybody_

_Messermonroe: calm your horses… WOAH NELLY! DON'T EAT ME! ARG! NOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_Susan (__susan111live.nl__): IT'S NATIONAL PISS OFF DAD DAY! _

MesserMontana4ever: You're imbecicious! (Imbecile) I'm joking! You're fabulicious! Graceliciuos would be a better word to describe Topher! ILU! LOL! Moment your msn starts working… go on my profile and ADD ME! I'm add-a-licious! So add me as soon as you can, 'cause you're so reviewalicious! 5 WORDS BIATCH! LOL!

_Ashley Booth: I'm UPDATING! Sheesh!_

_On_

_With_

_The  
sex!_

_I _

_Mean…_

_FIC!_

_LOL_

I 

_am_

_such_

_a_

_tard_

_ON_

_WITH_

_FIC!

* * *

_

"Oh my god, that was SUCH a great movie!" Evangeline announced as she walked out of the theater, dragging Zachary along behind her, while Zachary was trying to shoot the empty TCBY out. Suddenly, Danny and Flack walked in through the front door.

"Hey Evan!" Danny exclaimed. Evangeline ran up to her father and hugged him.

"Hi daddy!" Evangeline said. Danny smiled.

"How was the movie?" Danny asked with a grin on his face. Evangeline giggled and looked at Zachary.

"Oh… It was REALLY good…" Evangeline said in a low voice, making Zachary blush. Flack then decided to step in.

"Oh really? Could you tell us what HAPPENED in the movie?" Flack asked. The two teens blushed and looked away. Danny noticed the awkward silence, so he took his keys out of his pocket and smiled.

"Come on… We kind of have to go… Evan… your mom wants to tell us something." Danny said. Flack and the two teens followed Danny into his SUV and they all got in, Flack and Danny in the front seat, Evangeline and Zachary in the back seat… doing god knows what.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Mommy! We're home!" Evangeline yelled as she walked in the house.

"I'm in the bathroom! Be out in 10 minutes!" Lindsay yelled. Evangeline raised her eyebrow and shrugged it off as nothing. Danny, on the other hand, went pale and almost fainted.

10 MINUTES LATER

"Mom!" Evangeline yelled for the umpteenth time. She was about to knock again, but the bathroom door opened, revealing Lindsay holding a weird stick in it and a happy expression on her face. Evangeline looked at the box, and then up at her mom.

"Mom… what is this?" Evangeline asked. Danny walked over to see what Evangeline was talking about. He looked at the stick and then up at Lindsay.

"Positive?" Danny asked. Lindsay nodded and glomped Danny, who started laughing like a maniac. He then picked Lindsay up and twirled her in infinite circles. Evangeline was weirded out.

"What in the world mom?" Evangeline asked. Danny and Lindsay smiled.

"I'm pregnant" Lindsay said. Evangeline blinked stupidly.

"You're WHAT?" Evangeline yelled. Lindsay nodded and smiled. Evangeline took a moment to process and then she smiled.

"I'M GOING TO BE AN OLDER SISTER!" Evangeline yelled, bouncing off the walls. Danny and Lindsay smiled as they watched their daughter bounce.

"Tired yet?" Danny asked. Evangeline shook her head.

"Nope" She said, stifling a yawn. She then suddenly dropped. Danny looked at Lindsay and took a random wooden spoon and poked Evangeline, who was snoring loudly. The moment the spoon touched her ribcage, she snorted and then returned to snoring. Danny grinned and ran upstairs, leaving Lindsay there with a wooden spoon. Danny jogged back down the stairs, video camera in hand and an evil smirk playing on his mouth.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Chelsea screeched. Lindsay covered her ears and winced.

"CHELS! Not so loud, fuck!" Lindsay said. Chelsea grinned apologetically.

"Sorry Linds… it's just… wow… how many years has it been since you've had a baby in the house?" Chelsea asked. Lindsay smiled.

"This morning… You should hear Danny in the mornings." Lindsay said. The two women started laughing like hyenas. Suddenly, Zachary walked in the room.

"Oh, I thought dad brought the zoo home with him." Zachary said disappointedly.

"Did you hear auntie Lindsay's big news?" Chelsea asked. Zachary shrugged.

"Do I WANT to know?" Zachary asked.

"I'm pregnant." Lindsay said. Zachary went white.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" He yelled. Lindsay nodded and Zachary passed out. The two women looked at him for a moment, and then shrugged and returned to their girl talk.

The end

* * *

_Yo! Yo! Yo! What is UP, my home slices? Homey-g yo? Jordiie-jord is in the BUILDING! Holla at ya girl Jordiie. End gangsta mode. Woah… total weirdness… I think I scared my dead cat out of his grave... CHELSEA GO FEED HIM! This chapter is dedicated to my grandma's cat, Cookie, who just passed away… You'll be missed by all, Cookie. I'll miss the way you'd rub up against my brother and give him an allergic reaction…  
A poem for Cookie_

_You were my friend,_

_You were the coolest cat.  
You were my brother's fiend,_

_You were very fat. _

You were cooler than ice cream,

_You were hotter than fire.  
You loved whipping cream,  
You hated that electrical wire. _

_RIP COOKIE ZIELINSKI_


	18. Wrong Numbers

**Chapter 18: Wrong Numbers  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Dunno**

_Gingerbread man: Do you know the muffin man?  
Lord Farquad: The muffin man?  
Gingerbread man: THE MUFFIN MAN!  
Lord Farquad: Do you know the muffin man… Who lives on Dreary Lane?  
Gingerbread man: Well… she's married to the muffin man…  
Lord Farquad: SHE'S MARRIED TO THE MUFFIN MAN?!  
Gingerbread man: THE MUFFIN MAN!_

_Sorry… had the uuuuuuuuuuuurge to write that right there…P no… this has NOTHING to do with chapter 18… I just felt like saying it. You were ALL thinking of that quote at one point in your life after seeing Shrek, right?:P _

Anywho… that's kinda going off topic… isn't it? Oh well… I know what you're all here for… a story. Not just any story… one of MY stories… well… you're going to have to wait through the reviews…

_Reviews for chapter 17: _

Ashley Booth: Yes… A baby…

MesserMontana4ever: no more licious words… okay? They kinda make my brain hurt…P El gato es mi amigo since I was a baby :( oh well… funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious funkylicious… MAKE THAT 8 BIATCH:)

_Chili peppers: I don't update EVERY day… maybe every second day… but not every day… _

Kaoli Water Goddess: I've been thinking about a new Messer since chapter 1…it was only when you brought it up that I remembered…

_Quintessence of Darkness Yes… you have reviewed once before… don't worry… I forget what fics I review too…thanks a lot_

_Messermonroe: good luck on your exam… I shall NEVER change my style… it's what makes me… me_

_Susan (__susan111live.nl__): it WAS kinda funny when she'd do that. I also hate it when people update once a month… me, it's either once a day or once a year… :P I know… I'm gonna go hit myself now… _

Poorrani: its Zac… not Zach… anyways… every good thing sadly does come to an end

_Madison Bellows__: Concerta is so much better for you… It works for me… My more serious stories are written under the influence of concerta._

_ChelseaTheLoser: You. Are. Awesome. Period. :P… I'm trying to send the skittles. I. Love. You. Too._

_Now…_

_I'm  
Bringing  
Jordiie  
Back.  
The  
Rubber  
Duckies  
Don't  
Know  
How  
To  
Act... _

ON  
WITH  
THE  
FIC!

* * *

Evangeline and Zachary were sitting on Zachary's bed, staring at the phone. They had been in this position since Danny and Lindsay dropped Evangeline off. Danny and Lindsay had gone to find out whether they were going to have a girl or a boy. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Suddenly, the phone rang. Evangeline and Zachary fought over it for a moment, and then Evangeline kicked him in the… Hoo hoo…

And answered the phone.

"Yellow?" She asked. She listened for a moment and then.

"Hello! Is Gladys there?" An old woman asked. Evangeline groaned and answered as kindly as she could.

"I'm sorry, but this is the Flack residence. I think you have the wrong number." Evangeline said .

"Oh… Well… you sound like a sweet young child and you might have something better to do… so you run along with whomever you're with and I'll try calling her again. Ta-ta!" The old lady said, and then she hung up. Evangeline turned off the phone and stared at it like it was possessed.

"Zac… I'm scared… hold me!" Evangeline said over dramatically. Zachary chuckled and pulled her close.

"You're SUCH a drama queen." Zachary said jokingly. Evangeline giggled and leaned into him.

"And YOU are such a sap." Evangeline said back. Zachary was just about to attack her neck with kisses, but the phone rang again. Zachary got to it before Evangeline, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"'Ello." Zachary said happily.

"'Ello poppet. Is Elisabeth there?" Someone with a British accent asked. Zachary looked at Evangeline confusedly.

"I'm sorry miss, but there's no one by that name here. I think you might have the wrong number." Zachary said politely. He heard the person on the other line sigh.

"And I wasted 3 and a half pounds to make a long distance call… oh well…" The person on the other line hung up before Zachary could respond.

"Bye then…" He said before hanging up. As soon as he hung up, he looked at Evangeline and they both started laughing like hyenas.

"What are the chances? 2 times in 2 minutes…" Evangeline said, trying to catch her breath. Zachary opened his mouth… but the phone rang again. Evangeline answered.

"Hi." Evangeline said. She heard heavy breathing on the other end.

"I'm coming for you." The voice said, and then hung up. Evangeline was freaked, so she looked at the caller display and saw Zachary's number. She looked at Zachary, who was biting his cheek so that he wouldn't laugh. Evangeline took some pink icing and smudged it all over his face.

"Did I tell you that that wont wash off for a while?" Evangeline asked. Zachary groaned and turned his cell phone off. Suddenly, the phone rang again. Evangeline groaned loudly and passed it to Zachary.

"Hola." Zachary said.

"Hi. This is Bob from child services. We'd like to inform you that your son, Jason Crasi, has been put in a foster home." The man on the other line said.

"Hi, I'm Zachary Flack, son of Donald Flack, I'm 15 years old and I don't have a son." Zachary said proudly.

"Oh, so sorry. Wring number." Bob said, and then Zachary hung up on him. Evangeline laughed so hard that she fell off the bed.

"Eve… you've GOT to stop doing that." Zachary said, helping her back onto the bed. She fell on top of him and leaned in for a kiss and then…

RING RING

Evangeline picked up the phone and pressed talk.

"STOP CALLING HERE YOU MORONS!" Evangeline yelled into the phone.

"Now, who are YOU calling a moron, Evan?" Danny asked. Evangeline blushed.

"Oh my god… daddy… I'm sorry! People have been calling us for the past I don't know HOW long asking for people we don't even know." Evangeline said.

"Oh… well… would you like to know what we're having?" Danny asked. Evangeline squealed.

"YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" Evangeline yelled.

"You're going to have a baby…" Danny said….

* * *

_CLIFFHANGER! _

HAHA! I am so evil! I'm leaving a lil cliffy here, and you guys are going to tell me what you think it will be:

A boy  
B girl  
C dog  
D hippo  
E goat

to VOTE, you have to REVIEW! And to REVIEW, you have to click the periwinkle BUTTON!

_Love  
Kawaii-babi_


	19. You’re Going To Have A Baby…

**Chapter 19: You're Going To Have A Baby…  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Des cerveaux mince comme des haricots.**

_It's what you've all been waiting for… we're going to find out what Danny and Lindsay are going to have. No, I shall not say in the author's note… that would be stupid… Lol! Thank you all for your great votes… by the way… IT'S A HUMAN!_

'_There was this skinhead harassing her, and she just walked up to him and said "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and I'm more of a woman that you'll ever get'_

_Tell me what movie that quote is from and who said it (actress or character) and the next chappie MIGHT be dedicated to you._

_This chapter… I shall only answer a couple of reviews… Cause that's the way I roll…_

_Reviews for chapter 18: _

ChelseaTheLoser: NO!

Kaoli Water Goddess: I am NOT a butthead… I'm a mother-fucking princess! LOL! I SAW THE FINALE!

Mitsi1819: YAY! Let's all get sick on M&Ms together!

BlueHaven4220: what does namesake mean?

MesserMontana4ever: Bein TABARNACK! I'm Frenchalicious… so HA! Names are also coming up I think… Daniel Cadence is a top choice.

_Madison Bellows: You are EVIL! _

Poorrani: … you confuse me

Messermonroe: typical guy…

_Now… I love cats and dogs and people and Maia! _

ON

_WITH_

_THE_

_DUCK_

_IN_

_FRONT_

_OF_

_MY_

_SCHOOL_

…

_I_

_MEAN…_

_FIC!

* * *

_

"You're having a baby… brother!" Danny exclaimed. Evangeline squealed and jumped on the bed. Zachary mouthed 'what is it' and Evangeline mouthed back 'it's a girl!'

"That's not it, though…" Danny said. Evangeline looked at Zachary who shrugged and took a cupcake.

"What?" Evangeline asked.

"You're also gonna have a baby sister!" Danny exclaimed. Evangeline almost fainted on the spot.

"Are you SERIOUS, dad?" Evangeline asked.

"Damn straight" Was all Danny said before Evangeline dropped the phone, making the battery fall out.

"Oops." Evangeline said, and then she looked at Zachary with a seductive smile. Zachary grinned back and pulled her close to him.

"Now where were we?" Zachary asked. Evangeline giggled and attacked him with kisses.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"I'm so glad to get that stuff off my stomach." Lindsay said, pulling her sweater on. Danny chuckled and pulled her back to his chest, caressing her stomach with his hands.

"I can't believe it, we're going to have twins." Danny said, snuggling his face into the crook of her neck. Lindsay giggled and turned around and kissed him sweetly.

"I thought that I was just getting fat, I didn't think we'd be having twins!" Lindsay squealed. Danny smiled and pulled away.

"Come on, we've gotta get you home and off your feet." Danny said, putting his hand out for her to take. She smiled gratefully and gladly took it.

"Why thank you, oh kind gentleman!" Lindsay said jokingly.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Zac…Zac… get off me?" Evangeline said, attempting to push a sleeping Zachary off her. Zachary snorted and snuggled into her. She sighed and kicked him in the nuts.

"ARG! WHAT THE FUCK EVE?" Zachary yelled, curling into the fetal position. Evangeline laughed and got up off the bed.

"I have to pee, and you wouldn't get off me." Evangeline said, then she walked out the door and walked out the bathroom. Zachary sighed and got up on the bed without putting to much strain in his… Suddenly, he heard the doorbell rang. He groaned and got up, trying to keep his mind on anything but the pain. He limped down the stairs, to the front door and opened it a little to see who it was. Through the crack, he saw Danny bouncing on the balls of his feet. He sighed and opened the door.

"Hey uncle Danny." Zachary said. Danny smiled and invited himself in.

"Is Evan still here, or did she run away because she's finally sick of you?" Danny asked. Zachary glared at Danny and Danny laughed.

"Oh… I'm just kidding, man. She'd never do that." Danny stated. Zachary's face lit up and Danny laughed.

"You're whipped, man." Danny said, patting Zachary on the back.

"I am not!" Zachary said defensively. Danny raised his eyebrow and grinned.

"Yeah… and Lindsay's pregnant with a hippopotamus." Danny said, rolling his eyes. Before Zachary could respond, Evangeline ran down the stairs.

"Hi daddy! Bye Zac!" Evangeline said, giving Zachary a chaste kiss on the lips and running out the front door. Danny looked at Zachary, grinned and followed his daughter out the door. He was about to close it, and then he peaked his head back in.

"You're whipped." Danny said, closing the door. Zachary took the shoe off his foot and chucked it at the wooden door.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"What do you think of Jessica Elisabeth?" Lindsay asked Danny, folding her legs under her body. Danny sat down on the sofa and sighed.

"Too popular." Danny said. Lindsay glared.

"Mariela Ariel?" Lindsay asked. Danny shrugged.

"I like the Mariela part, hate the Ariel." Danny said. Lindsay sighed.

"What about Maia Mariela?" Evangeline suggested, plopping down on the couch with a bowl of chips. Danny and Lindsay looked at each other and smiled.

"Maia Mariela Messer… I like it." Danny said. Lindsay nodded.

"Me too… now for our little man…" Lindsay said. Danny took the baby book.

"My turn to pick… okay… umm… Anthony Adam?" Danny asked. Lindsay stuck her tongue out. Danny rolled his eyes and looked at the book again.

"Okay… umm… Damien Tyler?" Danny asked. Lindsay's eyes went wide.

"I AM NOT NAMING MY CHILD AFTER THAT KID IN THE OMEN!" She screamed. Danny blocked his ears and cowered in fear.

"No Damien then… umm… Christopher Dillon?" Danny asked. Lindsay glared.

"In one of my high school classes, there was a guy named Christopher who kept calling himself 'Christ' or 'Jesus' because a substitute once called him 'Christ'." Lindsay said. Danny chucked the book.

"I have NO idea then." Danny said dejectedly. Evangeline picked up the book and looked at it for a second.

"Hunter Daniel?" Evangeline asked. Danny and Lindsay smiled.

"How the hell do you keep coming up with these?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline smiled.

"I'm better at putting things together than you are." Evangeline said simply, putting a chip in her mouth and crunching it (like that scene in RENT where Maureen goes: There's always Buzz line) Lindsay eyed the chips and licked her lips. Evangeline saw this and ran out of the room, Lindsay hot on her trail, leaving Danny in the room to think about how he got so lucky.

_The end

* * *

_

_I need help you guys… running low on ideas…do you like the names that I chose? I think that they deserve to have 2 names each… I know people with no middle name and they always feel so left out… So sad… Especially in kindergarten when the teacher gave us sheets that said:  
First name  
Middle name  
Last name_

By the way... I changed it from Daniel Cadence Messer to Hunter Daniel firstly because people hate it and secondly, if i didn't have a little sister, but a baby brother... that would've been his name/

_REVIEW YOU COOL PEOPLE YOU OR I WON'T UPDATE!_


	20. Goodbye Love

**Chapter 20: Goodbye Love  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: PUTT PUTT!**

_Winner of that little thingy is MesserMontana4ever… So this chapter is dedicated to you and all your awesomeness! XD! OUUUUT TONIGHT! Lol… yeah… I need you people to put in ideas for this story or I'm going to have to bring it to an end…which I really don't want to do! So you guys have to review and give me some awesome ideas… so please help me or I will ring your necks… I mean… umm… stop updating? Eh heh heh heh…  
HELP ME MOMMY! MY REVIEWERS HAVE DERANGED LOOKS IN THEIR EYES! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME! Never mind… it was a speck of dust on the screen… lol! Now... on with the reviews…_

_REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 19_

_Abbeguytje: sorry if you don't like the name, because I like it… and also, the babies aren't born yet, so she doesn't know what it's like yet… _

MesserMontana4ever: _**stands up**__ Hi, I'm Jordiie. About a year ago, I found out that I am a RENT head, and then yesterday, I found out that I know all the songs and dances by heart. __**Little brother stands up**__ and how does that make you feel? __**I ponder for a second and smile**__ FAN FUCKING TASTIC! _

Chili peppers: I like the twins' names too! I wonder who chose them?

_Open hearts catch dreams: Yeah… I just watched that epi to make sure… yeah… um… my friend's name is Daniel Cadence (blank line) I'm not filling in his last name…. Yeah… I'm so sorry… he wanted to be in the fic. _

ChelseaTheLoser: Fine… more drama… lol… just for you…

_Soswimmer13: I changed it! I wasn't hell bent! Read the review response for Open hearts catch dreams…  
_

_Kaoli Water Goddess: I was watching the finale so many times last night that I went dizzy and had dreams about me being in Lindsay's place on Danny's chest… hmmm… so many great dreams…oh… my… god._

_Poorrani: I'm too young to be your mom…WHIPPED! _

BlueHaven4220: I've already chosen the names… sorry. :(

Mitsi1819: GO MIDDLE NAMES! Oh my god! There's a Darth Vader action figure in my room!

CarolinaH.Manning: I knew a guy named Dominic and he was a dildo… and not the good kind, but the kind that has metal spikes…

_Now…_

_On_

_With_

_The_

_Pickle_

_Juice…_

_I_

_Mean…_

_Beetle_

_Juice…_

_I _

_Mean_

_Fic…

* * *

Evangeline dashed out of the house and ran down the street with a batch of cookies in her hand. She couldn't wait for the lift her father offered her, she had to get to Zachary's house ASAP. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her until she got to Zachary's house. She went to the front door and took the spare key that Zachary had given her and unlocked the door. She ran upstairs to his room and opened it._

"Happy 2 year anniversary Zac!" She said, looking in. She dropped the plate of cookies on the floor in shock.

"Allison? Zac? WHAT THE FUCK?" Evangeline yelled. Allison, Evangeline's best friend, jumped off of Zachary and fixed her top. Zachary wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve and jumped off the bed.

"Eve… It's not what it looks like…" Zachary said, putting his hand on her shoulder. She span around and slapped him across the face.

"NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE MY ASS! WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER 2 FUCKING YEARS AND THIS IS HOW YOU SAY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY? IF YOU WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH ME, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST DONE IT TO MY FACE!" Evangeline yelled. Allison tried to sneak out the window, but unluckily for her, Evangeline saw her out of the corner of her eye.

"As for you… how could you? You're a slut… nothing more… you know what… you can just have Zac… because you know what, Zac? We're through!" Evangeline yelled, and then ran out the door, leaving Zachary to stare in shock. Allison went to comfort Zachary, who slapped her hand away.

"Get the fuck away from me, you little slut… You just ruined my relationship… I hope you're happy." Zachary said, running out the door to go find Evangeline, leaving Allison to stand in his room, alone.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Hey, uncle Danny. Is Eve here?" Zachary asked, walking into the Messer house. Danny looked up from his paper and shrugged.

"Haven't seen her since she left to go see you. Why?" Danny asked, staring at Zachary. Zachary shifted uncomfortably and shrugged.

"I did something one hundred percent stupid that I need to fix." Zachary said, walking out the front door, leaving Danny alone.

"Goodbye then!" Danny said, looking back at the paper.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

Zachary had searched all Evangeline's favorite hiding spots, but no luck. After several hours of searching, he decided to give up and just go home. As he was walking through Central Park, he heard a familiar and beautiful voice.

"You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees  
You don't want to watch me die?  
I just came to say goodbye love goodbye love came to say goodbye love,  
Goodbye, Just came to say  
Goodbye love  
Goodbye love  
Goodbye love  
Goodbye" Evangeline sang, with tears rolling from her eyes. It pained Zachary to see her like this. He walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. At first she resisted, but then she just buried her face into his chest and began sobbing uncontrollably. Zachary started stroking her hair.

"I'm sorry, Eve… She came onto me…" Zachary said. Evangeline looked up and him.

"I know…" Evangeline said. Zachary leaned in to kiss her and she chuckled.

"What? Does my breath smell bad?" Zachary asked. Evangeline shook her head.

"This is just kinda too movie like for my taste. They always fight and then make up like… an hour or so later…" Evangeline said. Zachary smiled and kissed her, and then pulled her into a bone breaking hug.

"I never want to lose you again." Zachary said, burying his face in her hair. She put her face into the crook of his neck and smiled.

"Ditto." She whispered, holding onto him for dear life.

* * *

_The end._

_COME ON PEOPLE IDEAS! This chapter was dedicated to MesserMontana4ever… because she was the only one who guessed.  
_

_Okay, now for another contest… whoever gets the right answer will get their OC put in this story at some point… and ChelseaTheLoser can NOT participate, because she's already got an OC in here… ok… contest…  
what song is this from (name of song and artist) _

Do I attract you, do I repulse you with my queasy smile?

Press the little periwinkle button to enter and review!

Kawaii-babi


	21. He Did WHAT?

**Chapter 21: He Did WHAT?  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Your mom's dog**

_Okay, everyone. On Sunday, it was my dear friend Chelsea's b-day. Everyone PM her (ChelseaTheLoser) and wish her a happy birthday, and I'll give you a cookie… Too many people guessed the song right, so no OCs yet… I'll come up with more song lyrics for you guys to guess… I do have another OC though… his name is Thomas Trevor Taylor… can you guess whose son he is? _

Yeah, so… no time for reviews if I want this posted by midnight… HBD Chels, make a wish… what? You wish that you were in a fic that you were married to Don Flack? Your wish is my command… ABRACADABRA!

* * *

"Hey Linds!" Chelsea yelled, running to catch up to Lindsay. Lindsay turned around and smiled when she saw her friend.

"CHELSEA!" Lindsay yelled, trying to run, but her belly slowing her down. She was now about 7 months along, and loving every single minute of it. Danny having to cook for her, clean, massages whenever she wanted, basically, everything and anything she asked him to do, he'd do. Chelsea ran up to Lindsay with a smile on her face.

"Linds… you'll never believe what Don did for my birthday yesterday!" Chelsea exclaimed.

"What did he do?" Lindsay asked. Chelsea smiled.

_Flashback_

"Don? Don! I'm home!" Chelsea announced, setting her camera on the table and taking her coat off.

"Don? Are you home?" Chelsea asked nervously, and she got nothing but silence. She cautiously closed the door and walked to their room. She saw his shoes and clothes but no Flack. Worriedly, then went to turn around, but felt something cold and circular on her back.

"Turn around and I shoot." Someone whispered into her ear. She grinned and pretended to be scared.

"Oh, please, don't hurt me!" She pleaded over dramatically, making the person chuckle.

"No funny business." The voice said, pulling Chelsea's arms back and cuffing them. She tensed up a little.

"Don… take the cuffs off." Chelsea pleaded, but to no avail. Flack pushed her on the bed. She rolled over to yell at him, but instead, she started to drool.

"You like?" Flack asked. Chelsea nodded.

"I like." She said with a grin. There was Flack, dressed in nothing but his navy blue boxers, his badge and his gun. Chelsea took off the cuffs, which, lucky for her, were from the dollar store. Chelsea licked her lips and crooked her finger. Flack smiled and walked towards her.

"Happy birthday, Chels…" Flack said, pressing his lips to hers. Chelsea melted into the kiss but then pulled back.

"Zachary…" Chelsea said breathlessly. Flack grinned.

"With Evangeline." Flack said, moving in for another kiss.

"Kyla-Marie?" Chelsea asked. Flack smiled.

"With Thomas Trevor." Flack said simply. Chelsea smiled.

"Whole house to ourselves?" Chelsea asked. Flack smiled.

"Defo." Flack said, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. He pushed her against the wall and she hit a switch, making a disco ball go on. Chelsea pulled away and raised her eyebrow.

"Is this, like, gonna be one of those low budget porn films?" Chelsea asked. Flack shook his head.

"Nope… in those… they don't actually have sex… they fake every minute of it." Flack said. Chelsea grinned.

"I love you." Chelsea said. Flack grinned.

"Love you too." Flack said, leaning in for another kiss.

_**Insert lemon here Insert lemon here Insert lemon here Insert lemon here Insert lemon here Insert lemon here**_

"How old are you now, Chels?" Flack asked, rolling off of her. Chelsea smiled.

"27." Chelsea responded. Flack snorted.

"Yeah, right. You've been 27 for 7 years. I think that you need to get over the fact that you're getting old… 34 year old." Flack said. Chelsea hit him playfully on the chest.

"Not nice." Chelsea said, yawning a bit.

"No round 2?" Flack asked. Chelsea shook her head.

"Nope." Chelsea said with a smile, dosing off.

_End Flashback_

"He did WHAT?" Lindsay asked, choking on her doughnut, and then coughing it up. Chelsea nodded.

"Best birthday ever." Chelsea said with a grin, drinking her coffee.

"I wonder what the guys are doing now." Lindsay said, looking up to the ceiling as if it would answer her.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Flack… I understand painting the room half pink, half blue… but did you HAVE to mix them together? My son is NOT going to grow up in a purple room… it will definitely turn him gay." Danny said, crossing his arms. Flack put down the paintbrush and sighed.

"What do you want me to do then? Go buy some more paint?" Flack asked. Danny glared at him, and Flack sighed.

"Okay… fine… but I'm buying one colour… so deal with it." Flack said. Danny smiled.

"Go ahead… NO PURPLE!" Danny yelled as Flack left the room.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

Evangeline was laying on Zachary's chest… his SHIRTLESS chest at that. She grinned and poked him on the nose.

"Hello stranger." Evangeline said as Zachary fluttered his eyes open. He grinned and kissed her on the forehead.

"Hello to you too." Zachary said, tickling her armpit, making her giggle ands squirm.

"Stop it." Evangeline squealed. She heard the front door slam and she jolted up, pulling the blanket up around her. She looked at her digital alarm clock and went pale.

"SHIT! Look at the time!" Evangeline exclaimed, falling off the bed. Zachary looked in desperation for his boxers, and then he found them and put them on quickly and ran towards Evangeline.

"You okay?" Zachary asked. Evangeline rubbed her head and nodded.

"Yeah… I think so…" Evangeline said, wincing as she ran her hand along her head. Zachary pulled her hand away and looked at it. He then decided to kiss the bump. Evangeline smiled and looked up.

"Did that help?" Zachary asked. Evangeline nodded.

"Defo." Evangeline said, pulling him down on top of her, but Zachary pulled away.

"Didn't your dad say we had to help with painting the nursery today?" Zachary asked. Evangeline groaned, got up and walked to her closet to look for some old clothes.

"Do you mind?" Evangeline asked, turning her finger in a circular motion, hinting that he should turn around. Zachary sighed and looked for his clothes.

"Fine… but you can't watch while I get changed. Evangeline suddenly went into drama mode.

"OH WOE IS ME! I CAN NOT LOOK WHILE YOU PUT THY CLOTHES ON THY DELECTABLE BODY!" Evangeline said over dramatically. Zachary sighed and pulled his jeans on.

"Drama geek." Zachary muttered under his breath. Evangeline smiled.

"Faggot." She said confidently, and then walked into her closet to get changed.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Good morning midgets!" Danny exclaimed as Evangeline and Zachary walked out of Evangeline's room. Evangeline giggled and walked to the kitchen.

"You made muffins, daddy? I LOVE YOU!" Evangeline exclaimed, grabbing a muffin and shoving it in her mouth. Zachary sighed.

"All the food you eat, and you're still as skinny as Paris Hilton." Zachary said. Evangeline gave him the death glare.

"You're walking on thin ice, bub." Evangeline said, grabbing another muffin. Zachary rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Zachary said, grabbing a muffin and walking to the nursery. Evangeline sighed and ate her muffin, with Danny watching her attentively.

"What was that all about?" Danny asked. Evangeline sighed.

"Zac forgot our 2 year anniversary, and I caught him making out with my best friend… but he apologized, and I warned him that if he ever did anything like that again, I would send you after him." Evangeline said. Danny chuckled and pulled his daughter into a hug.

"THAT'S MY GIRL!" Danny said, giving her a noogie. Evangeline grunted and pulled away.

"DADDY! STOP IT!" Evangeline shrieked, pulling away and running out of the room. Danny watched her for a moment, and then got up and walked to the nursery.

* * *

_The end._

_Next chappie: PAINTING THE NURSERY! Contest: _

What song and artist is this song from?

Any second you'll be wrapped around my finger

_If you guess it right, you can pick the colour(s) of the nursery_


	22. You are SO Immature!

**Chapter 22: You are SO Immature!  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: BRRRRR! It's hot in here.**

_Hey people! I was just thinking… what would you do if I suddenly wrote a smut fic? Would you stop reading my fics… or beg me for more smut? Or would you just say 'what eva! This chick kicks ass no matter what she writes!'? No worries, because I don't think that I'm going to write smut… just some slash fics and mild sexual humor along the way. Anyways… I would like to thank my awesome reviewers for sticking with me since chapter 1… which was posted the 4th of March 2007. I update all the time because you guys are so awesome!_

Mitsi1819: Don't you mean Google? Zac is mine… Evan is loosely based on me… and I was watching like 3 Orlando Bloom movies in school today!

Abbeguytje: babies… plural… and… cross-dressing baby, perhaps? Yellow is an awesome colour…

Messermonroe: Danny's going to get him good.

Tonik2255: only because you asked nicely.

_Da capt'n: whats up with your pen name? It's so gangsta! LOL! Every one knows the lyrics!_

BlueHaven4220: Yes… Zac is cute (sighs) you should see who he's based off of.

_CrAzyChIc22__: More Zac & Evan… coming up_

Poorrani: Sorry… only one colour…the guys are going to paint the nursery, along with Evan… who likes to paint shtuff…

_MesserMontana4ever: Yes… you're right! LOL! Um…There IS going to be a better visual… say…Danny, wet, butt-naked…: P Evan just left the room to cool off… and Danny followed Zac to paint…and Evan has curves… but she's really skinny… so she took it as such an insult… Yes… road trip to Canada… just Evan and Zac… and Evan's dog…, which I will give a name._

_Madison Bellows: Evan put him on a short leash…_

Kaoli Water Goddess: There's only one spare bedroom in their house… and that's going to be the nursery… so Danny had no choice… 

_Now…_

_On_

_With_

_The_

_Pickle_

_Hammock…_

_I_

_Mean_

_FIC!_

"So Donald Duck… did you get the paint?" Danny asked as Flack walked through the front door. Flack picked up 2 cans and smiled.

"2 awesome colours… paid by yours truly." Flack said, setting the two cans down. Danny took a butter knife and opened the cans.

"Light green and light yellow… nice choice, Flack" Danny said with a grin. Evangeline walked in the room with a paintbrush and a smile.

"I locked Pickles in my room, daddy." Evangeline said, looking into the cans. Danny sighed in relief.

"No accidents like last time!" Danny exclaimed, pouring the paint into the pans. 

"Dan.. I was thinking of painting the walls yellow and the ceiling green… how does that sound?" Flack asked. Danny shrugged.

"Whatever." Danny said, putting his brush in the paint and 'accidentally' flinging it at Flack, who took it like a man.

"EWW! GREEN PAINT!" Flack exclaimed. Danny smirked. Flack stood there… thinking… (Wow… a first)

"Where are Zac & Eve?" Flack asked. Danny looked around and then his eyes narrowed.

CSINYCSINYCSINY****

Zachary pushed Evangeline against the wall and Evangeline moaned into the kiss. Suddenly, Zachary pulled away. Evangeline groaned in disapprovement.

"Do you want your dad to hear us?" Zachary asked. Evangeline ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his face closer.

"Screw him…" Evangeline said, crashing her lips on his. Zachary pulled away.

"No thanks. Not that he's not attractive… but he's just not my type." Zachary said. Evangeline giggled and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. Zachary grinned into the kiss.

"You are so gay." Evangeline said, undoing his belt. Zachary grinned.

"If I were gay, would I willingly make love to you?" Zachary asked as he pulled her camisole off. Evangeline giggled.

"Who wouldn't?" Evangeline asked. Zachary smiled and leaned in for another kiss when he heard footsteps down the hall.

"OH SHIT!" Zachary yelled, pulling away from Evangeline and looking for his clothes. Evangeline was luckier, because her clothes were either on her or next to her on the ground. Zachary finally found everything except…

"Looking for something?" Evangeline asked, holding up a pair of Spongebob boxers. Zachary blushed and snatched them from her. They both got dressed just in time for the door to open.

"Now… what are you two doing here?" Mac asked with a grin. Evangeline and Zachary sighed in relief.

"Uncle Mac… thank god you're not…" Evangeline started, but was cut off by someone.

"Me?" Danny asked. Zachary went pale and bolted for the front door. Danny folded his arms and grinned.

"My mission here is complete." Danny said, walking back to the nursery. Mac laughed and then grinned at Evangeline.

"Nice hickey!" Mac said, walking to the nursery as well. Evangeline slapped her hand onto the hickey, hoping that no one would notice it, since she had just run out of cover-up.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"What the hell did you guys do?" Lindsay asked in rage. The room looked awesome… but the guys looked like a bunch of 3-year-olds who got in a paint fight… which they did.

"Well, you see… we painted the room." Danny said with a grin, wiping the paint that had gotten on his glasses off. Lindsay sighed.

"You know what I mean, Dan." Lindsay said. Danny sighed.

"Well, you see… Flack? A lil help here?" Danny said desperately. Flack grinned.

"Danny started it!" Flack said, pointing his finger at Danny. Lindsay groaned.

"Mac? Care to explain?" Lindsay asked desperately. Mac looked at her and smiled.

"I havta go potty." Mac said, making Danny and Flack burst into laughter. Lindsay groaned and slapped her forehead.

"You are SO immature!" Lindsay exclaimed. Mac, Danny and Flack continued laughing.

"That's why you LOVE us." Danny said with a smile. Lindsay had to laugh.

"Looks like I'm going to have to take care of three babies instead of two." Lindsay said with a laugh, and then leaving the room in search of food… glorious food. Namely… a pickle and feta cheese sandwich (she's pregnant… what do you expect?)

_The end_

_There was chapter 22 you guys… I think that one of these days, I should write and actual author's note… with votes and everything! Oh em gee! It's 7 in the morning right now.. so I'm uber tired and hyper. Lol! If you guys want more… you have to review…  
Now… if you want to have a walk on role in the fic… guess what song and artist this is_

If you want to know the truth about my life, it's a scam, it's a scam it's a scam

Let me give you a hint:  
The artist was in a Broadway musical

And another hint:  
The musical was written by Jonathan Larson.

_Now you awesome reviewers do what you do best! REVIEW!_


	23. My Lovely Lady Lumps

Chapter 23: My Lovely Lady Lumps.  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: a leather seat 

_Before I start my usual author's note… I have to say something… a kind of disclaimer… wait… it IS a disclaimer!_

_**Disclaimer: **__don't own CSI: NY or anything in relation to it. I also don't own the song 'my humps' by the Black Eyed Peas… It belongs to Will.i.am… the genius behind the song… who wrote it in 5 minutes. There is also an Alanis Morisette version… Yeah…_

_Now… onto the reviews… wow… I have 184 reviews for this one story from you guys! Aww! I love you guys so much… How about the 200__th__ review I get for this story… the reviewer gets a story dedicated to them? How does that sound?_

MesserMontana4ever: No… it's NOT a RENT song… but it's by one of the OBCs of RENT. I have no idea how I'm so hyper 7… especially when I have a mild hangover… a chocolate hangover! I'm not sure if I'm giving Zac a dog, a cat, a pet potato, a snake or an iguana… For your road trip… make sure to come to Montreal!

Shoehorn: What does that mean? I seriously have no fucking clue… and I left my Spanish-English dictionary at school… I will probably stop this story after they get married… and make a sequel to this…

Poorrani: You are way off on the artist… the artist is a GUY!

Tonik2255: Evan is 14 Zac is 15…  


_Susan (__susan111live.nl__): IMO? Lol… I don't really think I'd be THAT gutsy to do something like Zac and Evan did in my house… period… hee hee! I said period! I'm getting better as the chapters go on? Awesome! YES THE SONG IS OUT OUT DAMN SPOT! YAY! Send me a description of you (height, eye colour, hair colour, name, body type, skin colour etc) first reviewer who got it right and sends me a description wins a walk on role._

Bluehaven4220: YES THE SONG IS OUT OUT DAMN SPOT! YAY! Send me a description of you (height, eye colour, hair colour, name, body type, skin colour etc) first reviewer who got it right and sends me a description wins a walk on role. I would kill too… so I am in the middle of writing a story with all the outtakes of this fic.

_Mitsi1819: Poor you! Have a cookie! They make you feel better! Zac and Evan are pretty lucky that Danny isn't gonna chop Zac's hoo hoo off…_

Kaoli Water Goddess: True Danny fashion, eh? LET'S ALL BE CANADIAN TOGETHER! EH!

_Messermonroe: We will be seeing more DL soon…P_

Now… for Susan and Bluehaven4220… the first one out of you two to send me a full description (PM me) will get a walk on role…

Now…

_ON_

_WITH_

_THE_

_FIC!_

Zachary and Evangeline walked out of Danny's car and walked towards the school's gym, which had been turned into a Karaoke bar (virgin drinks)

"Have fun you guys!" Danny yelled in a mock-Lindsay voice. "And don't talk to strangers!" He said, making Zachary and Evangeline laugh. They turned around to walk, but then Danny went back into Danny-mode.

"NO SEX!" Danny yelled. Everyone in the parking lot stared at Evangeline and Zachary, who ran inside the school as quickly as possible. Danny looked on with a grin, and then drove away.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Gar! My dad is such a douche!" Evangeline said, putting her jacket in her locker. Zachary closed his locker and looked at her strangely.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Evangeline asked. Zachary grinned.

"Not yet, you don't… how about we go somewhere quiet and…" Zachary trailed off, nipping at her neck. Evangeline sighed and pushed him off.

"Zac… we promised my dad… no sex… remember?" Evangeline asked. Zachary sighed and fixed his pants a little.

"Fine… but you have to promise… when we get back to my place…" Zachary said, hinting something. Evangeline giggled and walked away.

"Not a chance, cowboy… now… come on. I want to sing something with you." Evangeline said, walking down the hall. Zachary ran after her and put his arm around her waist, showing the world that she was his and no one else's.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Hey Evan!" Erin yelled from across the room. Evangeline squealed and ran over to her, leaving Zachary with his friends. Jeremy walked up to him.

"Now… THAT is one fine piece of ass… I'd tap that." Jeremy said, making Zachary's blood boil. But Jeremy had good reason behind what he said. Evangeline was wearing a low cut black t-shirt, a white micro-mini and a pair of black and white stilettos. But nonetheless, Zachary was still angry. He punched Jeremy in the gut.

"Don't you EVER talk about Evan like that EVER again… or I'll ring your neck." Zachary said, walking to where Evangeline was gossiping with her friends.

"So… how's the sex?" One of Evangeline's friends, Laura asked. Evangeline grinned the famous Messer grin.

"Mind blowing!" Evangeline exclaimed. All her friends giggled and Zachary came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"And you said not a chance." Zachary whispered in her ear. Evangeline giggled and turned around so that she was facing him.

"Come on… I wanna sing." Evangeline said, pulling him up to the stage. Zachary groaned and Evangeline picked out a song and handed him a microphone.

"You're singing with me, or I'm chopping your dick off." Evangeline said through clenched teeth. Zachary gulped and nodded and then he heard a familiar intro, making him grin.

"What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside your trunk?" Zachary sang, making everyone laugh. Evangeline grinned seductively.

"I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,  
I do it on the daily,  
They treat me really nicely,  
They buy me all these ices.  
Dolce & Gabbana,  
Fendi and NaDonna  
Karan, they be sharin'  
All their money got me wearin' fly  
Brother I ain't askin,  
They say they love my ass 'n,  
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't taken  
We can keep on datin'  
I keep on demonstrating.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)  
You love my lady lumps (love),  
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),  
My humps they got you" Evangeline sang smoothly. Everyone was still laughing as the couple sang their song.

"She's got me spending." Zachary sang off key.

"(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me." Evangeline said, body pointed to the audience, eyes looking at Zachary.

"She's got me spending." Zachary sang. 

"(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me" Evangeline sang.

"What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?" Zachary sang.

"I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump." Evangeline sang. Suddenly, the music stopped and a teacher ran up on stage and grabbed the microphones.

"THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE RATED G! BOTH OF YOU! HOME! NOW!" The teacher yelled, making the audience laugh. Zachary grinned and pulled Evangeline off the stage. Once they got out of the gym, they both started laughing like hyenas.

"WHAT A DOUCHE!" They said in union. They walked to their lockers and got their jackets, and then proceeded to walk to Zachary's house, where they both knew how much… or little… sleep they'd be getting.

_The end_

So what did you guys think? You know… I never got an answer for the smut question… LOL! Now… you people keep reviewing and I shall make a story dedicated to the 200_th__ reviewer… so try and be that reviewer…and one reviewer (chosen at random) will have a chapter dedicated to them! So, don't think that you won't be the 199__th__ reviewer, so you won't review… because that's not fair:P  
_

_Click on the periwinkle button to review!  
Kawaii-babi_


	24. Yup Naked

Chapter 24: Yup… Naked.  
Written by: Kawaii-babi

**Edited by: Dunno**

_Hi people! Okay… so… I'm going to try to actually write this chappie, but there's sommat wrong with my hip… so… Yeah… OH AGONY! I'm skipping the reviews because I just can't deal with sitting down… but I'm still writing for you guys… so be happy that I can actually type! But I still love you guys! So here it is! Chapter 24!_

Zachary and Evangeline walked through Zachary's front door and Zachary closed it as quietly as possible, so that they wouldn't wake anyone up. They walked into the kitchen and saw Flack sitting there in a bathrobe, eating some cookies and milk.

"Hi dad!" Zachary said. Flack looked up at the two of them, looking like a zombie.

"You guys go to bed." Flack said with a yawn, shoving a cookie down his throat. Zachary looked at Evangeline and raised his eyebrow suggestively and Evangeline bit her lip.

"Whatever you say, Uncle Donald." Evangeline said, taking Zachary's hand in hers and leading her to his room. Flack didn't know what they were going to do, so he just ate another cookie, hoping that tomorrow, it would make more sense.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Evan… you have to promise me that you won't make ANY noises at all." Zachary warned. Evangeline sat there, twirling her long hair around her finger.

"But Zac…" Evangeline started, but was cut off by Zac's finger on her lips.

"You have to learn how do to it with kids in the house." Zac whispered. Evangeline sighed and laid back on his bed.

"Oh teach me, oh great master of sex!" Evangeline said sarcastically. Zachary grinned and pounced on the bed, only to hit his head on the wall.

"OW! That hurt!" Zachary announced, holding his hand to his head. Evangeline suppressed a laugh and got on her knees and kissed his forehead and pulled away

"That better?" Evangeline asked. Zachary nodded.

"A little… but I know something that would make it feel A LOT better." Zachary said. Evangeline grinned.

"I know what you mean… Let's go get some ice!" Evangeline exclaimed, getting up off the bed. Zachary groaned.

"That's not what I meant." Zachary said, patting the bed, hinting for Evangeline to sit down next to him. Evangeline sighed and sat down.

"If you faint halfway through it, don't expect me to be next to you when you wake up." Evangeline said, crashing her lips on his.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Zac! Evan! Wake up!" Flack yelled, walking into Zachary's room. His eyes widened and he left the room, going to the bathroom to wash his eyes (have you ever done that? I do it when I see something gross) Just as he closed the door, Zachary opened his eyes. He pulled the covers above his head and grinned.

"Yup… naked." Zachary said with a grin, pulling Evangeline closer to him.

_The end._

_Hope y'all liked it. I had so much trouble trying to write this, but my hip is no reason to complain. I made a commitment to you guys, and I'm posting as often as possible, because I LOVE YOU!_


	25. What Not To Say To Mom

Chapter 25: What Not To Say When Mom's Giving Birth  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: Help please? 

_This chapter's inspiration came from a game we played in improv today. So… yeah… Thank you all for being so warm about my hip comment. Someone in my class was like 'you didn't do your work because of your hip? You're a fucking retard!' and then walked away. Some people are suck fucktards! Anywho… The pain has gone away and I'm so glad it's not appendicitis._

Tonik2255: Danny's not going to have a reaction because Danny won't know because Flack won't tell him because he knows he's going to get his ass kicked if he does.

Susan (won't bother with e-mail, so I'm just calling you Susan): You're only too young if you're 13 and under. Don't ask how I know. Flack is awesome!

_Mitsi1819: No… Flack is happy with his cookies! Energy is contagious!!_

_Madison Bellows: yep… reaction. LOL_

Bluehaven4220: Be glad I even wrote 3 words… 

_CrAzyChIc22: no reaction because Flack is scared of Danny  
_

_Poorrani: I love your ideas, chica!_

Now…  


_ON_

_WITH_

_THE_

_FIC!_

"Dad, we're going to run over this one more time." Evangeline said, plopping herself down on the couch. Danny sighed.

"Evan… I think we've run over it enough… I'm going to be fine." Danny said reassuringly. Evangeline glared at him.

"Yeah… what was it you said when mom gave birth to me?" Evangeline asked. Danny looked down at the floor and mumbled something incoherent. "What was that?" Evangeline asked. Danny sighed. "Are we going to be able to have sex ever again." Danny said flatly. Evangeline stifled a laugh. "Exactly. Now… let's run over this one more time. Daddy, what shouldn't you say to mom when she gives birth to the twins?" Evangeline asked. Danny pondered for a moment. "By the way, our medical insurance expired yesterday. Holy shit! Is that a penis or a spaghetti noodle? Why did you forget to take your pill? My hand feels numb. Jesus is cute! My other wife is having a baby, so I've got to go. Are you sure that they're mine? Eww! It's naked! Are we going to be able to have sex ever again?" Danny listed. Evangeline smiled. "Good! Now… what shouldn't you do?" Evangeline asked. "Faint." Danny said proudly. Evangeline grinned the famous Messer grin. "Congrats! You have passed 'what not to say when mom's giving birth' 101." Evangeline said proudly, patting her dad on the back. Danny grinned. "Evan… it's getting late, sweetie. Go to bed, and I'll wake you up if your mama goes into labor, okay?" Danny asked. Evangeline plopped back down on the sofa. "But… I'm not… tired." Evangeline said, suppressing a yawn. Danny grinned. "Come on." Danny said. Evangeline crossed her arms and shook her head. Danny sighed and picked her up and potato sacked her. Evangeline shrieked and giggled. "Lemme down!" Evangeline yelled. Danny smacked her bottom playfully. "Nuh-uh! Not until you promise that you'll go to bed." Danny said. Evangeline went into full drama mode. "NEVER! I SHANT NOT SAY SUCH THING!" Evangeline said over-dramatically. Danny sighed and set her down on the couch. "Say it." Danny said warningly. Evangeline glared. "Never." She said coldly. Danny grinned mischievously and put his hand on her side. "Your funeral." Danny said, and then he started tickling her. Evangeline shrieked and giggled. "AH! STOP IT! I PROMISE THAT I'LL GO TO BED!" Evangeline yelled. Danny grinned. "Now, was that so hard?" Danny asked. Evangeline glared. "Yes." She said coldly, and then walked up the stairs to her room. CSINYCSINYCSINY "Mommy… I has to go potty." Thomas Trevor Taylor said, shaking his mom's leg. Peyton took her head out of her pillow and looked at him. "Didn't you say you were going to be a big boy and go potty by yourself from now on?" Peyton asked. Thomas Trevor bit his lip and looked at his feet. "I hearded a noisy in the bafroom." Thomas Trevor said shyly. Peyton looked at Mac, who was snoring loudly and sighed. "Come on… let's go find out what the 'noisy' was." Peyton said, grabbing her bathrobe and putting it on, following her son to the bathroom to investigate. "You know, you should be asking daddy to help you. He's the CSI." Peyton informed Thomas. Thomas looked up at his mom. "But daddy doesn't wake up. He just snores and talks about waffles." Thomas said. Peyton laughed quietly and opened the bathroom door, listening for any noises. She heard a soft 'thud' and some shuffling, and then she closed the door as quietly as possible. "Thomas. Go wake daddy up. Tell him that it's an emergency." Peyton said nervously. Thomas nodded and ran as quickly as his little feet would carry him to his parents' room while Peyton grabbed an umbrella from the umbrella stand. A few moments later, Thomas returned with Mac in his boxers, holding his gun tightly. Before Mac could say anything, the door creaked open to reveal…. "Hi auntie Pey-pey." Kyla-Marie said, rubbing her eye. Peyton stifled a laugh and Mac set his gun down on the table. "Hi Kyla." Peyton said, leaning into Mac. "Did you know she was sleeping over?" Peyton asked. Mac shrugged. "Nope…" Mac said, putting his arm around his wife's waist. The end. Yes… I put some Peyton/Mac in here! Sorry if you hate that couple… I think that they're so cute! Don't kill me please! Next chapter: Lindsay has the twins. But I need you guys to tell me: What stupid thing should Danny say to Lindsay while she's giving birth? I need your suggestions so that I can continue writing! 

_Kawaii-babi_


	26. And What Did Daddy Learn From This?

Chapter 26: And What Did Daddy Learn From This?  
Written by: Kawaii-babi 

_Hello my people! I have learned something very interesting today. I learned that if you tell a kid not to tell someone their name, they will tell their name to the person if they give the kid trident gum. I also learned that albinos and midgets are still people, and they have feelings too._

_I know last chapter was clumped up and looked retarded… IT IS NOT MY FAULT! Blame fanfiction… wait… lemme get my evil monkey that lives in my closet to do the evil pointy finger thingy… BZAP! YOU'VE JUST BEEN EVIL MONKEY THAT LIVES IN MY CLOSET EVIL POINTY FINGER THINGY-ED!_

_Now… I know I haven't been updating recently… I have to admit, in the beginning of this story, I would write 5 chapters in one day, and then post them one by one, day by day… But I've decided to stop doing that, because I kind of have a life outside of fanfiction, and I need to take that time (4 hours a day) that I would write, and use it for the good of mankind (that was a lie… my teachers decided to give us more homework)_

_Now… I think I shall answer some reviews from cool people… namely… MY REVIEWERS! I shall shorten your pennames so that life can be so much easier for the world…_

_Kaoli: as I explained before. Fanfiction did it…_

_Carolina: The point of this story is to be cute and funny at the same time…_

Anime: was that a review?

Susan: OMG! GREAT IDEA! Wait… your dad went to the BATHROOM when you were born? Oh god… wow… classy…

_Mitsi: My mom wouldn't touch me when I was born because she was afraid she would drop me… yeah… love your idea!_

Cassie: I know it's in a clump…

_Blue: Best idea yet! OMG! I CAN'T CHOOSE!_

CrAzy: my hip is so much better right now.

_Poorrani: lol… love the idea… its funny what dads will do when their wives are in labor._

_Tonik: we're all blondes! Blame fanfiction!_

_Now… on with the fic!_

"Okay, Mrs. Messer… I need you to push…" The gynecologist instructed. Lindsay pushed as hard as she could, accidentally punching Danny in the nuts. Danny fell to the floor in pain.

"Are you okay, Dan?" Lindsay asked through the pain. Danny got up and held Lindsay's hand.

"You have no IDEA how much this hurts." Danny said, earning a glare from Lindsay and a smack on the head from Evangeline.

"Dad… You're such a douche." Evangeline said. Lindsay flashed her a grin.

"I need you to push again." The gynecologist said. Lindsay pushed hard, and then when she relaxed, Danny yawned.

"I'm gonna go get some coffee." Danny said, dashing out of the room. Lindsay sighed.

"Mrs. Messer, the baby's crowning." The gynecologist said. Lindsay nodded and held her hand out for Evangeline to hold. She pushed again and Evangeline got a little worried.

"Is this a good enough reason for not having unprotected sex?" Flack asked. Evangeline giggled nervously. Suddenly, Danny ran back into the room with a cup of coffee.

"I'm here, what did I miss?" Danny asked. Flack rolled his eyes.

"You just missed me giving your daughter an important lesson." Flack said.

"One more push Mrs. Messer…" The gynecologist said. Lindsay pushed and the gynecologist smiled.

"Congratulations, it's a beautiful baby girl!" He said. Danny looked at it and grimaced.

"It's all wrinkly and blue!" Danny said. Lindsay glared and then a contraction took over. The gynecologist grinned.

"I havta pee." Danny said, and then he ran out of the room.

"FUCK THIS!" Lindsay yelled at the top of her lungs.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Danny… could you please let other people hold Hunter?" Flack asked Danny. Danny held the bundle out for Flack, but then pulled away.

"I DON'T WANNA!" Danny whined. Lindsay grinned at her daughter.

"Looks like I have 3 babies." Lindsay said as Evangeline rocked her baby sister, Maia Mariela in her arms.

"What about me?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay grinned and held her hand out for her daughter to hold.

"As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." Lindsay said. Evangeline grinned.

"As long as I'm living, my mommy you'll be." Evangeline replied.

"LINDSAY! TELL UNCLE DANNY TO GIVE US A CHANCE TO HOLD HUNTER DANIEL!" Zachary pleaded.

"Danny, give everyone else a chance to hold Hunter Daniel, or no sex until the twins turn 40." Lindsay said. Danny sighed and handed him to Flack.

"If you corrupt him, I swear, you and Chels will NEVER be able to have sex again… got that?" Danny asked. Flack gulped and nodded. Chelsea laughed.

"It's not like he ever gets any." Chelsea said, making everyone in the room laugh, except for poor Flack… and the twins, who were sound asleep. Flack decided to change the subject.

"Aw! Look at that! They don't look a thing like Danny! Isn't that cute?" Flack asked, earning a death glare from Danny. Flack handed Hunter Daniel to Zachary, and then bolted out of the room.

The end 

_I finally got this chappie done! Just for you guys! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Okay… I was thinking of making Evangeline have a secret, and if you want, you can suggest what it is. Now… I just have to say, that I love you guys, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news… on June 28__th__, I will be leaving for camp, so I will be gone for a month. That means, no updates, no Jordiie, no love, no happiness… just no Kawaii-babi for a whole month. I'll miss you guys so much, but it's only gonna be a month… and I'll be back, I promise, with new original fics and stuff… more creative, more childish, and more mature. Anywho, I love you guys and if you have any ideas, review! And to review, you must click on the periwinkle button in the bottom left hand corner of this page_

_Kawaii-babi_


	27. The Peanuts Have Landed

**Chapter 27: The Peanuts Have Landed  
Written by: Kawaii-babi**

**Edited by: feet**

_Hello my pretties. I have earned a complaint or two about the previous chapter and I would like to say that I am extremely sorry that you don't like the fact that I tend to bend reality's stick until it breaks… that's just who I am… I don't LIKE being realistic and I tried to put all of my reviewer's ideas in here… and it's hard to do that without bending reality. Anywho, I have to keep this short & sweet, so no reviews for today…_

_I know… boo… Kawaii-babi is evil… I havta pack for camp you people, you…_

_On with the fic_

Maia Mariela and Hunter Daniel had been home for a week now, and the Messer family had never been so happy. Danny sat there on the ugly armchair that every man was obligated to buy; grinning and watching Evangeline and Zachary play with the twins. He chuckled a bit and returned to reading his newspaper. Lindsay was in her room, resting, since the twins wore her out so much. Evangeline and Zachary played with the twins and then Zachary pulled his shirt over his nose.

"Do they ALWAYS have to do that?" Zachary asked. Evangeline giggled and picked Maia up and rubbed her nose against the infant's stomach.

"Someone made a stinky!" Evangeline said in a childish voice. Zachary grimaced, making Evangeline laugh.

"How can you deal with that stench?" Zachary asked. Evangeline put Maia on the changing table and grinned at Zachary.

"Get used to it… we might need it someday." Evangeline said, making Zachary's eyes go wide. Suddenly, he heard a farting noise coming from Hunter, who looked up at him with huge brown eyes. Zachary sighed and put his shirt back up on his nose.

"The peanuts have landed." Zachary coughed out, scooting as far away from the infant as possible.

"Oh, you little pussy." Evangeline said, pulling the straps closed on Maia's diaper and putting her on the ground, and then picking Hunter up. Zachary looked at Maia, who had Danny's blue eyes, and then back at Evangeline.

"What do you mean by 'we might need it someday?'" Zachary asked. Evangeline tensed up and looked at him.

"Never you mind… can you get that cow out of her mouth?" Evangeline said to Zachary. Zachary looked down at Maia, who was chewing on a stuffed cow. He decided to lay off the subject for the moment, but he put it in the back of his mind, knowing that they were going to have a talk at some point.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Say hi to auntie Stella!" Stella announced as she walked through the door. Maia, who was in Danny's arms, looked up at Stella and gurgled.

"Bwashilap!" Maia said. Stella sighed and took her out of Danny's arms.

"Close enough." Stella said as she cuddled the newborn. Danny laughed at the sight and picked up a cookie off the table.

"Mmmm… cookie." Danny moaned out, earning an odd look from Stella.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Evan!" Zachary panted as he ran up the stairs to Evangeline, who was on her way to her room. She looked at him and gave him a weak smile, and then she walked into her room and sat on the bed. Zachary followed her and sat down next to her.

"Evan… what's wrong?" Zachary asked. Evangeline started tearing a bit, so she dropped her head down a bit so that he wouldn't see.

"Evan… what is it? Whatever it is, we can get through it together." Zachary said soothingly. Evangeline looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Whatever?" Evangeline asked. Zachary laughed and hugged her tightly.

"Whatever." He said. Evangeline cried on his shoulder for a while until it reduced to hiccupping. She then looked Zachary in the eye.

"I'm late" Evangeline said. Zachary looked at her for a moment, not knowing what she meant.

"What do you mean?" Zachary asked. Evangeline sighed.

"I'm late." Evangeline repeated. Zachary stared at her and then her eyes went wide.

"Late?" Zachary asked. Evangeline nodded. Zachary looked in her eyes, looking for anything that might hint that she was lying, but he found none. He hugged her tightly and stroked her hair.

"We can get through this." He said soothingly. Evangeline smiled and kissed his cheek.

_THE END_

_DUN DUN DUN! LOL! Poor Evan, huh… so young… so blonde… there's something called condoms…Now kiddies, have you learned a lesson from what Evangeline did? She didn't use protection and now she might be… you know… you guys should figure this out, or you're stupid… OMG! YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL! REVIEW AND I SHALL GIVE YOU PINK PANCAKES!_

_Now for a poem_

_Biomass,_

_Biomass,  
It doesn't come from out your ass.  
It will give you lots of gas.  
Biomass,  
Biomass,  
I like to eat cookies with glass_

_-Bill Christ, kid in my class wrote that… not me…_

_Hearts_

_Kawaii-babi_


	28. Dad's Gonna Spazz

Chapter 28: Dad's Gonna Spazz  
Written by: Kawaii-babi

_Hey people! I am so sorry that it is taking me so long to update… I've just been having a bad case of writer's block… NYEUGH! But I have finally gotten over it, so let's all be happy together!_

_YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! 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YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! Wow I'm out of breath… woooo… heehee…_

_Anywho. Lets go to the reviews!_

_Susan: Yeah… they're 14 and 15… and my rents would be pissed also… and you missed the pink pancakes… they were falling from the sky._

_Mm4e: yeah, I know you… you aren't one to swear… WHERE IS MY CHAPPIE? _

_Tonik: he's not gonna run because he's a good boyfriend… unlike SOME guys…_

_Mitsi: you missed the pancakes, they fell from the sky. Yes… Bill is weird… but we love him… _

_Anime: 14 and 15… reaction coming up._

_Blue: you missed the pancakes… and you havta read to find out what happens next…_

_CrAzy: Imma try to make more chappies than that…_

_Poorrani: That's what I was planning to do… so that means like… I'll come home with 20 something new chappies…: P_

_Now…_

_On_

_With_

_The_

_Fic_

"Evan… do I really have to come in for this?" Zachary asked, pulling up his hood. Evangeline sighed and pulled him into the pharmacy.

"You were the one who decided not to wear the condom…" Evangeline stated, earning a sigh from Zachary.

"Plus, if we see anyone we know, you can always give the excuse that your mom needs one and you asked me to help you pick one out." Evangeline said. Zachary pulled his hood up farther if possible and followed Evangeline to the pregnancy tests. His eyes went wide when he saw the selection.

"Ooo! Pretty colours!" Zachary said childishly, earning a laugh from Evangeline.

"You're less mature than the twins." Evangeline said, earning a mock-hurt expression from Zachary.

"That's nice, Evan." Zachary said. Evangeline giggled and kissed his cheek.

"You seriously need to shave." Evangeline pointed out, and then she grabbed one of every test on the shelf. Zachary sighed and followed her to the counter. The person at the counter looked at them and sighed. She had red-brown hair, 5 foot 4 Caucasian female and her nametag said 'I'm Erica!' She scanned all the tests and Evangeline made Zachary pay for the tests. They walked out and Zachary looked in the bag and sighed.

"Your dad is so gonna Spazz out at me…" Zachary said. Evangeline giggled and walked down the street to Zachary's house to take the tests.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"Zachary! Get me a cup!" Evangeline yelled from the bathroom. Zachary raised his eyebrow.

"Why a cup?" Zachary asked.

"Do you seriously expect me to pee on each and every one of these 32 tests?" Evangeline asked. Zachary sighed and walked to the kitchen to grab one of his little sister's cups. He went back to the bathroom with the Elmo cup and knocked on the door. Evangeline opened the door and grabbed the cup quickly. A few seconds later, she opened the door with the cup filled with yellow liquid in it. Zachary looked at her with a look of disgust. She sighed and looked at him.

"It's only pee." She said, walking down the hall to his room. Zachary quickly ran downstairs to grab a coaster and ran back and placed it on his dresser. Evangeline raised her eyebrow and put it on the counter. Zachary took the bag full of tests out from his dresser and emptied it out on the bed.

"Which one should we open first?" Zachary asked. Evangeline picked up a box and smiled.

"Clearblue! It's digital!" She exclaimed. Zachary tilted his head.

"And how many cookies have you had today?"

"One." Evangeline said. Zachary stared at her. She looked down at the floor.

"Times 12." She said in defeat.

"Should we do the test now?" Zachary asked. Evangeline nodded nervously.

"Lets just get it over with." Evangeline said, opening the box and dipping the tip in the pee. About 3 minutes later, she looked at it and her jaw dropped.

"Oh my." She said, dropping the test. Zachary looked at it and his jaw dropped also…

_CLIFFY! BWAHAHAHA! I am so evil to you guys. I wont tell you whether or not she's preggers! You'll just havta wait… because my lips are sealed._

_POEM TIME_

I like chocolate  
it tastes like yummy  
it feels so right  
when it's in my tummy

_AND SCENE!_


	29. Oh my

**Chapter 29: Oh my…**

"What does the negative mean?" Zachary asked. Evangeline dropped the test and hugged Zachary tightly.

"False alarm!" Evangeline said. Zachary let out the breath that he was holding and hugged her back.

"Thank god!" Zachary exclaimed. Evangeline giggled and threw the test away. Suddenly, an awkward silence fell upon them. Zachary coughed nervously and Evangeline shuffled her feet.

"So…" Zachary said, unsure about what to do.

"So…" Evangeline responded.

"Wanna make out?" Zachary asked. Evangeline smiled at him.

"Sure!" She exclaimed. Zachary grinned and crashed his lips on hers, but not before grabbing something from under his bed, just in case.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

"HECK NO, LINDS! I AIN'T LITTERING THEIR BRAINS WITH ELMO!" Danny yelled. Lindsay glared and slapped his face.

"Don't you yell at me EVER again." Lindsay threatened, poking his chest with her finger. Danny rubbed his cheek and grabbed a cookie. Lindsay sighed and turned the oven off.

"Danny, I'm sorry… it's just that… the twins… I just can't deal with it right now, what with you having odd shifts and Evangeline not even bothering to come home…" Lindsay said. Danny pulled her against his chest and she began sobbing uncontrollably. Danny stroked her hair lovingly and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"It's not your fault, Linds. It's mine… I should be here more often…" Danny said. Lindsay smiled and pulled away from him.

"You should have also warned me about the fact that you're so damn fertile." Lindsay said jokingly. Danny took a little bit of cookie dough out of the bowl and smiled.

"Damn straight!" Danny exclaimed, putting his cookie dough covered finger out for Lindsay, who licked it off with a grin. She then turned the oven back on and smiled.

"If you ever wanna have sex with me again, you're gonna get a vasectomy." Lindsay stated. Danny's jaw dropped and Lindsay giggled, putting the cookies in the oven and walking away from Danny to the twins.

CSINYCSINYCSINY

Stella was walking back to her apartment from Starbucks, cradling a cup of coffee between her gloved hands. Not looking where she was walking, because of the fact that she wanted to go home, because it was the middle of winter, she bumped into someone, and her coffee flew up in the air and spilled on both on them, and Stella fell quite ungracefully on her ass. The person bent down to help her up, but slipped on black ice and fell on his knees. Stella's eyes went wide and she got up and helped the person.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" Stella asked. The person laughed and got up, brushing snow off of his jacket. Stella opened her mouth to speak but closed it as soon as she actually saw the person that she bumped into.

"Kevin? Is that you?" Stella asked. The man looked at Stella and smiled.

"Stella Bonasera! Long time no see!" The man said. Stella grinned and picked up the coffee cup, which was standing upright on the sidewalk. It actually looked like it was mocking Stella. She could have sworn she heard it say 'I'm safe, dry and pretty!' in an annoying squeaky voice… like Columbia's, from Rocky Horror…

"Oh my god! It is you!" Stella squealed as she spread her arms, inviting him into a hug. Kevin grinned at Stella and bent down to hug her. Stella pulled away from the hug and looked at her childhood friend. He was tall, brown eyes and dark brown hair, and from what she could see, he was slim, but not too slim.

"Look at you! You're no longer the chubby freckled nerd you were in high school!" Stella exclaimed. Kevin grinned and looked at Stella.

"You filed out very nice too, Stella" Kevin said with a grin. Stella grinned back, and then she started to shiver. Kevin looked at her and smiled apologetically.

"Want to go to my place so that you can dry off?" Kevin asked. Stella nodded and followed him into a building, not knowing what might take place in there.

_LE FIN!_

_I'M BACK, MY LOVELY REVIEWERS! HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPPIE THAT I WROTE IN CAMP! I HAD SEVERE WRITERS BLOCK, SO I HOPE ITS OKAY!_

_LOVE_

_KAWAII-BABI_


	30. Why?

**Chapter 30: Why?  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: He IS a child molester!**

_Dearest reviewers…  
I know I have been gone for a while, but I expected to come back and have more than THREE REVIEWERS say that they missed me… Thank you ronhermionelove4ever, CrAzyChIc22 and tonik2255… you guys ROCK MY EFFING SOCKS! Because you were the only ones to review… I tip my hat and dedicate this chapter to you!!!_

"Evan… you okay?" Zachary asked, sitting next to her on the bed. Evangeline looked up from Pickles, her beloved Pomeranian. She sighed and smiled at him.

"Just curious… how did you afford Pickles on a $5 a week allowance?" Evangeline asked. Zachary rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

"Yeah, well, you know Mike StMartin? Big jock? Hates anything pink and girly?" Zachary asked. Evangeline nodded.

"Well… he kind of has 2 Pomeranians, and one of them had puppies a few weeks prior to your birthday, and I was over at his house. He gave me one in exchange for me not telling that he has 2 girly dogs…" Zachary said with a grin. Evangeline stopped petting Pickles and fell to the floor laughing.

"Wait… till… I… tell… EVERYONE!" Evangeline said in between breaths. Zachary's eyes went wide.

"Nuh-uh! You tell everyone… I die!" Zachary exclaimed.

"And that would be a bad thing?" Evangeline asked innocently. Zachary glared at her.

"Yes, it would be a bad thing…" Zachary said.

"Why?" Evangeline asked like a 3 year old. Zachary sighed.

"Because you love me." Zachary responded.

"Why?" Evangeline asked. Zachary looked at her with a weird look on his face.

"Because I'm sexy." Zachary announced.

"Why?" Evangeline was really starting to piss him off. You could even see a vein bursting in his forehead

"Because I am." Zachary said through clenched teeth

"Why?" Evangeline asked

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?" Zachary yelled. It was quiet for about 4.2 seconds and then…

"Why?" Evangeline asked with an evil glint in her eye. Zachary yelled as loud as he could, making Evangeline laugh like a maniac.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas, I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas. I like to ate, ate, ate, apples and bananas, I like to ate, ate, ate, apples and bananas. I like to eat, eat, eat, eepples and baneenees, I like to eat, eat, eat, eepples and baneenees. I like to ite, ite, ite, iiples and baniiniis, I like to ite, ite, ite, iiples and baniiniis. I like to oat, oat, oat, ooples and banoonoos, I like to oat, oat, oat, ooples and banoonoos. I like to ut, ut, ut, uuples and banuunuus, I like to ut, ut, ut, uuples and banuunuus…" Danny sang to the twins, holding a bear in front of them that was singing. Lindsay was leaning on the doorframe, laughing at the sight in front of her.

"Danny… I think they get it. You want to eat some apples and bananas… now… Stop dumming them down and come eat some fruit salad." Lindsay said. Danny got up and smiled at his wife.

"How did you…?" Danny asked. Lindsay smiled and flicked his nose.

"You did the same thing with Evangeline when she was a baby." Lindsay stated, turning around and walking into the kitchen. Danny sighed and turned back to the twins.

"Now, you guys watch out for your mom, okay? She's got this thing called 'mothers instinct.' She knows when you are sleeping, she knows when you're awake, she knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake…" Danny told them.

"DANNY! STOP PUTTING MY NAME IN CHRISTMAS CAROLS!" Lindsay yelled from the kitchen. Danny groaned and stood up.

"STOP DOING THAT, LINDS!" Danny yelled back.

"STOP DOING WHAT?" Lindsay yelled. Danny rolled his eyes.

"STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME, DANNY!" Lindsay yelled. Danny turned back to the twins, who were giggling and drooling.

"She…" Danny said, pointing his thumb towards the kitchen, "Is psycho." He told the twins, who were looking at Danny's thumb like it was a lollipop. A big, succulent lollipop. A big, succulent, cherry flavored lollipop.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Stella… do you want some clothes while I put yours in the wash?" Kevin asked. Stella glared at him.

"No, Kev… I want to walk around your apartment naked… of course I want some clothes!" Stella yelled. They looked at each other, and then they burst out into laughter.

"Sorry Kev." Stella said with a smile on her face. Kevin grinned and put his hands up in defense.

"No prob… just like old times, eh?" Kevin asked. Stella grinned at her Canadian friend. They had an awkward silence… the kind that you can ACTUALLY hear the crickets. Stella cradled her mug of hot chocolate between her hands. After a few minutes, Kevin got up.

"I think I should put the clothes in the wash now, huh?" Kevin asked, extending his arm, hinting at her to hand him her clothes. She laughed and he looked at her with a curious expression.

"Where's my change of clothes?" Stella asked. Kevin blushed and rushed to the bedroom to get some clothes.

I am suffering from writers block, so I ask you, the reviewers, to tell me what to write.

Best idea gets a chappie dedicated to them

And a poem

And a piece of pie

_Personally, I think pumpkin pie is the best._

_But hey! That's just me._

I just take my time to write a story for you guys.

_But no, you guys are so naggy. Nag nag nag!_

_More than I love Carmine's body! (jks jks jks!)_

_Right now, I'm trying to find a way to waste 100 words…_

_And that I just did._

_Xox  
Kawaii-babi_


	31. A Picture Really IS Worth A Thousand Wor

**Chapter 31: A Picture IS Worth A Thousand Words**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

_Okay you guys! This is chapter 31! Never thought I'd make it this far! It's all because of you guys! I will soon end this story and then make a sequel, which will still have these characters, plus a few more new ones on the way. Now, without further adieu, ON WITH THE SHOW!_

Evangeline sat on the floor in her room balancing her pen on her nose. She was supposed to have a minimum 1000 word story written by the next day and she had no inspiration. She had tried calling Zachary, but that just resulted in over an hour of phone sex. The teacher had said that it could be silly and that the language did not matter… just as long as the story didn't have 3 pages of the word FUCK. Evangeline had tried asking Lindsay for help, but Lindsay wouldn't because Evangeline had left it to the very last second. She groaned and chucked her pen under her bed, which wasn't exactly the best idea on earth. She groaned and went under her bed. She scanned around for her pen and grinned when she found it. She pulled it out and then she noticed something near it. Being the curious person she was, she grabbed it and grinned. It was a picture of her and her old friends Natalie, Ted, Jessica and Nadia hugging each other tightly with huge smiles on their faces. They had been transfer students from Canada, and when they left, she had been devastated. She still talked to them, though very rarely, and was surprised with what had happened over the years. Jessica, always the hyper one, was going out with Ted, who was the more serious one. Turns out that they balance each other out. Natalie had gotten an unholy addiction to South Park, which was slowly killing her. And Nadia had a special hat that had pins on it. Suddenly, Evangeline grinned. She had some inspiration, and from that point, she began writing.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Now class, I hope you have your stories here with you in class. This is worth 10 percent of your term mark. Please pass them up and then the person at the front please pass them to me and I will begin correcting. Basically, you guys have a free class!" The teacher announced. Everyone hurriedly passed their papers to the front and then to the teacher so that they could have their free period.

"So, Evan, what did you write about?" Zachary asked. Evangeline rolled her eyes.

"I'm not telling you!" She said in a singsong voice. Zachary groaned.

"Please Evan?" Zachary asked.

"When pigs fly." Evangeline said. Zachary grinned.

"Well, Uncle Mac HAS been on a plane before…" Zachary said. Evangeline giggled and slapped his arm.

"Regular comedian, eh?" Evangeline asked. Zachary nodded.

"Miss Messer, please stay after class!" The teacher announced. Evangeline groaned and rubbed her temple.

"Someone's in trouble, someone's in trouble." Zachary chanted.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Miss Messer, this will only take a second." The teacher said as everyone left the classroom. Evangeline walked up to the teacher's desk and sighed.

"May I ask what I did wrong?" Evangeline asked. The teacher removed her glasses and looked at Evangeline worriedly.

"What makes you think you did anything wrong? Heavens no, Evangeline! I was reading your story and I was taken aback by it. It sounds so realistic yet hilarious at the same time! You can almost relate to some of the characters!" The teacher announced. Evangeline grinned.

"That's because they're based on real people." Evangeline said with a grin. The teacher took out her red pen and marked it.

"Bring this home for your parents to read and make them sign it. I want it signed for tomorrow." The teacher said. Evangeline nodded and left the room.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Mom! Dad! I'm home!" Evangeline announced as she dropped her messenger bag on the ground. Lindsay looked up from her book and smiled.

"How's my favorite teenager?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline rolled her eyes.

"My teacher gave me something you have to sign." Evangeline said, putting on her best 'I think I'm in trouble but I don't know' face. The smile from Lindsay's face began to fade.

"Give it to me" Lindsay commanded. Evangeline slowly took the paper out of her bag and passed it to her mother. Lindsay read it over and smiled.

"This is wonderful!" Lindsay announced as she read it. Evangeline grinned and looked over her mom's shoulder to read what she had written.

"**Once upon a time, there was a little girl. This little girl's name was Skylar. Skylar lived in a magical world that is known to some as Canada. She had lots of strange, yet awesome friends. Their names were Natalie, Luke, Ted, Sandra, Nadia, Gertrude and Jessica. They had all been friends for some time now, but something would come in the way of them.**

"**Hey guys… I've got something important to tell you all." Skylar said, but no one paid attention, because they were all cuddled around Ted. Skylar sighed and took an extremely long poking device out of nowhere and poked them all.**

"**Guys!" Skylar yelled as she poked everyone. It was only when she accidentally poked Jessica's eye did anyone pay attention.**

"**OW! MY EYE! THAT FUCKING HURT! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Jessica yelled at Skylar. Skylar grinned, stood up straight and cleared her throat.**

"**Guys, I have something really important to tell you all, and it isn't going to be easy…" Skylar said.**

"**Are you finally going to wear a bra with that pink shirt of yours?" Natalie asked, cutting Skylar off mid-sentence. **

"**No… I'm never going to wear a bra with that thing! Are you stupid or something?" Skylar yelled. Natalie then started crying, and she left the room, grabbing her magenta marker and taking it with her. Everyone looked around the room for a moment and then Skylar cleared her throat again.**

"**As I was saying… you guys…" She was cut off yet again by Luke.**

"**Are you going to help me kill Jessica so that we can be sure that she'll die a virgin?" Luke asked. Skylar sighed and shook her head.**

"**No… I lost my machete in the big bar fight of '95. And plus… who would want to kill Jessica? She's so awesome and fluffy and… wait… can we get back to what I was going to say?" Skylar asked. Everyone nodded in approvement.**

"**You guys… I'm going to be moving to Vancouver at the end of August." Skylar announced. Everyone gasped in shock.**

"**You mean that we wont get to see you anymore?" Nadia asked. Skylar nodded and the girls all broke out into tears. The guys, however, being the primitive mammals they were, were taking a while to process the information. Ted scratched his head and Luke scratched his…**

"**LUKE! THAT'S GROSS! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM ME!" Sandra yelled. Luke grinned and then practically shoved his hands in Sandra's face.**

"**I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Luke yelled. Sandra groaned in frustration and left the room. It was quiet for a moment and then Gertrude decided to break the silence.**

"**Hey Jessica, I like your shoes." Gertrude said, looking at Jessica's feet. Jessica grinned.**

"**Oh, these? They're just jew shoes." Jessica stated. Gertrude then burst out into laughter. Jessica sat there for a moment and then burst out into laughter as well.**

"**I MADE A FUNNY!" Jessica yelled, and everyone stared at them.**

"**Dudes, can we just focus on what's really important?" Ted asked. Everyone raised his or her eyebrows.**

"**What's that?" Nadia asked. Ted grinned like a Cheshire cat.**

"**Which super hero would win in a fight: Superman or Batman?" Ted asked. Everyone grumbled their responses and then Jessica raised her hand.**

"**Oh, I like Spiderman because his ass in that outfit… the way it just swishes from side to side, I just wanna… UMPH!" She said, emphasizing her ****buy cupping her hands and squeezing them. Everyone looked around and there was a very awkward silence.**

"**Does anyone like my ass?" Ted asked. Jessica quickly raised her hand in the air, and then when she saw no one else did, she slowly lowered it.**

"**Well… I think I'm more important than some stupid superhero." Skylar announced. Gertrude, who had just recovered from her fit of giggles, glared at Skylar and then walked out of the room. It was quiet for a moment and then…**

"**We love you Skylar, oh yes we do. We love you Skylar, oh yes we do. When you're not with us, we're green, oh Skylar, sex machine." Jessica sang. Everyone looked like they had a vein in their forehead that was ready to burst.**

"**JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Everyone yelled. Jessica got up.**

"**I can see I'm not wanted here." Jessica said before leaving the room. **

"**Skylar, we're going to miss you." Nadia said. Skylar forced a smile and went to hug her.**

"**Don't worry guys… I'm sure that we're going to be friends forever." Skylar said, as everyone went in for a group hug.**

70 YEARS LATER 

**Skylar sat in her rocking chair, knitting a pair of booties for her latest grandchild. **

"**Knit one, pearl two, knit one, pearl two." She said to herself. Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her.**

"**Luke… don't you dare try to rape me again. My doctor said if it happens one more time, I'm going to die!" Skylar yelled. Luke groaned and sat in the seat opposite her.**

"**How did you know it was me?" Luke asked. Skylar grinned.**

"**You're the only one here without a walker or a wheelchair." Skylar pointed out. Suddenly, Jessica came flying into the room in her pink wheelchair.**

"**I HAVE ANOTHER GRANDCHILD!" She cried out. Skylar smiled and continued knitting.**

"**So… how many grandchildren do you have now?" Skylar asked. Jessica started counting in her head.**

"**32… and Taylor's pregnant with another one." Jessica said with a grin. Luke sighed.**

"**Jess… I was wrong all those years ago when I said that you would die a virgin…" Luke said.**

"**DAMN STRAIGHT!" Jessica yelled. Suddenly, Nadia walked in with the help of her walker, listening to her new Ipod microchip.**

"**Let's do the time warp again!" She sang. Everyone looked at her.**

"**How old is that song?" Skylar asked. Nadia shrugged and sat down.**

"**Where's everyone else?" Nadia asked. Suddenly, Ted came flying in on his wheelchair, with a red cape tied around his neck.**

"**Well, as you see… Ted has escaped the mental ward yet again… Gertrude's grandchildren came for a visit… Sandra died because she got Luke germs and Natalie…" Jessica listed off the top of her head.**

"**Is here!" Came a voice from the door. Everyone looked to see Natalie in her anti-nazi skirt and $150 shirt that her mom's friend bought her all those years ago, and her walker that had pretty flowers on them.**

"**So sorry I'm late you guys, the doctor wouldn't let me leave until I told him honestly what I had for breakfast." Natalie said.**

"**What did you have for breakfast?" Jessica asked. Natalie grinned.**

"**Stoner cookies." Natalie stated. Everyone laughed and then everything went quiet. **

"**I guess what Skylar said was right." Nadia said. Everyone looked at her confusedly.**

"**What was she right about?" Luke asked.**

"**That we'd be friends forever." Nadia stated. Everyone grinned and went for a group hug. Suddenly, Ted practically flew by, laughing his head off.**

"**I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!" Ted screamed at the top of his lungs.**

**The End" **Evangeline finished reading and grinned. She HAD done a good job, and she was happy. Lindsay grinned and signed the paper.

"You keep this up and your father will buy you something nice." Lindsay said. Evangeline smiled.

"A week without babysitting the twins?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay laughed.

"No." Lindsay said. Evangeline groaned and went into the kitchen to get something to eat.

_Yo you guys! Please review! I LOVE YOU GUYS! It's the periwinkle button at the bottom left hand corner!_


	32. Chocolate Please!

**Chapter 32: Chocolate Please!**

**Written by: Kawaii-babi**

_Dearest readers:_

_Today, my allergies decided to act up so, lucky you, YOU GET A CHAPTER! Yay! I don't know what I'm allergic to now, but past and present allergies include: Broccoli, Chanel perfume, sunscreen, apple juice and fish. My mom thinks I might be allergic to my dog, which is a really bad thing… PLEASE DON'T LET ME BE ALLERGIC TO MY DOGGIE! Yeah… so… I should begin writing now or risk boring you guys…_

"Evangeline! Get out of bed missy or you're going to be late!" Lindsay yelled. Evangeline sat up and rubbed her eyes and looked around.

"Mum, my eyes sting and my nose is blocked…" Evangeline said. Suddenly, Pickles jumped up on the bed and began licking Evangeline's face, and Evangeline started sneezing uncontrollably.

"Oh my, Evangeline, sweetie, just go back to bed and I'll call the clinic and get you checked out… in the mean time, Pickles is coming with me, okay?" Lindsay asked. Evangeline nodded and pulled the covers over her face.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"Danny…" Lindsay said as she walked into the kitchen. Danny looked up at her and saw the worried look on her face. He put down the spoon that he was using to feed Hunter and Maia. He got up and walked over to Lindsay.

"Is everything alright?" Danny asked. Lindsay crossed her arms.

"Evangeline isn't going to school today." Lindsay stated. Danny looked at her.

"That ain't all, Linds. There's something else to it, isn't there?" Danny asked. Lindsay looked down at the floor.

"She has nasal congestion and itchy eyes… Danny, I think she's allergic to something." Lindsay said, but Danny knew she had something more to say.

"Aaaaaaand…" Danny said. Lindsay sighed.

"I think she's allergic to Pickles." Lindsay said. Danny was speechless. Ever since Zac had given Evangeline Pickles, Pickles had become part of the family. She would be there at every meal, every event (minus the twins' birth) every trip, every fall.

"She can't be! That's like me being allergic to you! It doesn't work!" Danny exclaimed. Lindsay sighed and sat down.

"I know Danny. I'm taking her for an allergy test today. If she's allergic, we'll have to get rid of Pickles… I'm sorry Dan, but it's the only option." Lindsay said. Danny groaned and leaned on the counter.

"What time?" Danny asked.

"9:10." Lindsay said. Danny nodded and resumed feeding the twins. Little did they know, Evangeline was sitting at the bottom of the stairs listening to the whole conversation.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

"_What do you mean you might be allergic to Pickles? You've had her since forever!" _Zachary exclaimed. Evangeline tried to control her tears but was unsuccessful.

"I know! I don't want to get rid of her! She's like, my baby!" Evangeline said.

"_You mean OUR baby." _Zachary said. Evangeline giggled a bit.

"Yeah, OUR baby." Evangeline said with a grin.

"_Listen babe, I got to go if I want to make it to school on time. Love ya." _Zachary said

"You too." Evangeline said before hanging up. She looked out her window and sighed.

**CSINYCSINYCSINY**

Stella rolled over and grinned at the sleeping figure next to her (clothed, you perverts) By the time her clothes had dried the previous night, it had been really late and Kevin insisted on her staying the night. At first she was reluctant, but then he offered to make her some waffles for breakfast the next day. She hadn't had some of Kevin's waffles in years and he missed the melt in your mouth feeling. Kevin began to stir and Stella smiled.

"Good morning sunshine" Stella said cheekily. Kevin groaned and pulled her as close as he could to her. Stella stiffened and then giggled when he started muttering under his breath, something about not wanting to meet Michael Jackson.

"Rise and shine sleepyhead!" Stella said, poking Kevin as hard as he could. Kevin growled and sat upright.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Kevin exclaimed. Stella giggled uncontrollably and Kevin glared at her.

"Not a morning person, are you?" Stella asked. Kevin shook his head.

"If I remember correctly, you never were either." Kevin said.

"I had to learn. You know what my shifts are like. I learned how to be chipper at any time of day." Stella said. Kevin nodded and walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen.

"Stella, blueberry or chocolate?" Kevin asked. Stella licked her lips.

"Chocolate please!" Stella said. Kevin laughed and started making the waffles.

_Okay guys, I'm officially blank... I need you guys to review or I'm going to have to end this soon... I'm thinking about writing a HSM (High School Musical) fic... should I or nah?_


	33. Sippin' & Reminiscin'

**Chapter 33: Sippin' & Reminiscin'  
Written by: Kawaii-babi  
Edited by: (Random Name Inserted Here)**

_**Disclaimer:** __Don't own CSI: NY,__but I wish I did. Oh, by the way, this is the last chapter. (Starts crying) But I AM going to make a sequel if you guys ask me nicely. This chappie is placed 5 years after the last._

Evangeline and Zachary were sitting at their table, beaming at each other. Lindsay and Danny sitting on Evangeline's right, Don and Chelsea sitting on Zachary's left. Sid got up and raised his glass.

"To the newlyweds! May you have a great life together and lots of s…" Before Sid could finish his sentence, Stella had put her hand over his mouth.

"SID! There are kids here!" Stella exclaimed, motioning to her son, Sebastian, who had just turned 3. He had Stella's curls and eyes, but other than that, he was a mirror image of Kevin. Sid started laughing.

"Sorry, my mistake. Anyways, to the newlyweds!" Sid said, raising his glass. Evangeline and Zachary laughed and shared a kiss. Then, Zachary leaned in to whisper something in her ear.

"I love you, Mrs. Flack." Zachary whispered. Evangeline bit her lip and grinned.

"Love ya too, Mr. Flack." Evangeline whispered back. Zachary grinned and leaned in to kiss her again. Lindsay smiled at her daughter, and then she looked at Danny.

"What?" He asked curiously. Lindsay sighed.

"You were the one who didn't want them seeing each other all those years ago, remember?" Lindsay asked. Danny scratched his head and sighed.

"I don't remember." Danny said with a grin. Lindsay sighed.

"Sure you don't…" Lindsay said, rolling her eyes. Danny shrugged.

"Nope" Danny said. Lindsay lightly smacked him. Evangeline glanced at her parents and groaned.

"They're at it again." Evangeline said. Zachary laughed and pulled his new wife into a hug.

"They'll grow up eventually." Zachary said, half seriously. Evangeline giggled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh god… how did I ever get so lucky?" Evangeline asked. Zachary kissed her forehead.

"I should be asking the same thing." Zachary responded. Maia Mariela ran up to them in her little flower girl dress and pulled Evangeline's dress.

"Evaaaa… come dance wif me?" Maia asked. Evangeline looked at Zachary, who shrugged. Evangeline rolled her eyes and lightly smacked him.

"OW! What was THAT for?" Zachary asked. Evangeline got up and picked her little sister up and walked towards the dance floor. Zachary sighed and leaned on the table with his face in his hands. Don laughed and moved closer to his son.

"Now, where have I seen this scene before?" Don asked. Zachary glared at his father.

"Oh hardy har har. You're so funny, dad." Zachary said sarcastically. Don put his finger on his chin and thought for a moment.

"OH YEAH! At your PROM." Don said. Zachary groaned and tried not to remember that night.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Evan! You're NOT going to dance with him!" Zachary exclaimed. Evangeline's face was quickly turning red._

"_YOU don't control my life, douche bag! I can dance with whomever I want! Now get out of my way." Evangeline said through clenched teeth. If looks could kill. Evangeline turned on her heel and walked towards her friend Lee, who had a REALLY bad case of acne, and was a little chunky, and started dancing and laughing. Zachary leaned up against the wall and glared at the two. _

"_Come on, man, you can't be jealous of THAT guy, can you?" Don asked (By the way, he was chaperoning). Zachary took a good look at the guy. Who, besides a mother, could love that guy? Zachary calmed down a little, and decided to enjoy the night._

**END FLASHBACK**

"You know what, dad?" Zachary asked. Don raised his eyebrow.

"What?" Don asked. Zachary grinned.

"Fuck you. I'm gonna go dance with my wife." Zachary said, getting up from his seat, leaving his dad there.

"You're such a loser, you know that, right?" Chelsea asked her husband. Don grabbed his glass and took a sip.

"But you love me for it." Don said, giving her a kiss. She smiled.

"I love you for your ass." Chelsea said with a laugh. Don rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say…" Don said. He let his eyes wander to Zachary, who was walking up to Evangeline with his hands in his pocket.

"Hey Evan." Zachary said. Evangeline turned her head and glared at him.

"Oh, it's you." Evangeline said coldly. Zachary looked down at the ground and Evangeline started laughing.

"That wasn't nice, Evan." Zachary said. Evangeline grinned and gave him a kiss.

"Oh, come on. Can't you take a joke?" Evangeline asked, locking her arms around his neck. Zachary groaned and let his arms go around his waist.

"I honestly thought you were mad at me. What would I do if you were mad at me on our wedding night? That would mean no sex, and I've already gone a month without it, I don't think that I can last one more minute" Zachary admitted. Evangeline bit her lip nervously.

"Well, you know… there ARE bathrooms here…" Evangeline started.

"No, Evan… I don't want a repeat of what happened at Victoria's Secret." Zachary said. Evangeline pouted.

"Oh, come on? Where's your sense of danger?" Evangeline asked.

"Victoria's Secret changing stall 4." Zachary stated.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Come on, Zac… It will be fun." Evangeline said with a grin. Zachary looked at the stall cautiously._

"_What if someone hears us?" Zachary asked._

"_Just keep your mouth shut and we'll be fine." Evangeline said, pulling Zachary into the stall. As soon as she closed it, Zachary's hands were at the hem of her shirt, slowly pulling it on. One thing led to another and…._

"_MOMMY! There are two nakey people in the stall!" A little girl said. Evangeline and Zachary blushed.. The mother of the kid came to see what was happening and glared at the two._

"_THE NERVE! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!" The lady said. A whole group of people had come to see what was happening and they all started laughing. Evangeline closed the door and quickly pulled her clothes on._

"_This is the LAST time I let you talk me into something like that." Evangeline said. Zachary glared and put on his clothes._

**END FLASHBACK**

"You know, now that I think about it, that woman DID say that she hadn't seen anything like that in her life." Evangeline said. Zachary laughed.

"What a prude." Zachary said. Evangeline nodded.

"Those were the good old days." Evangeline said. Zachary nodded.

"Yup… back when we had to leave the house so that we could bonk." Zachary said. Evangeline burst into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Zachary asked. Evangeline tried to control her giggles.

"Who says bonk anymore?" Evangeline asked.

"I DO! Got a problem with it?" Zachary asked.

"Yeah, it's even more of a turn off than the time you dressed up as Cartman for Halloween." Evangeline said. Zachary laughed.

"I thought I was pretty hot in that outfit." Zachary said. Evangeline rolled her eyes.

"Riiiight…"

"You know you wanted a piece of my fat ass." Zachary said, waggling his eyebrows. Evangeline nodded.

"Definitely." She said sarcastically. Zachary grinned.

"Knew it." Zachary said. Evangeline giggled.

"I love you." Evangeline said. She then rested her head on his shoulder. Zachary grinned.

"Ditto." Zachary replied. He felt someone tugging on his pants, so he looked down and saw Hunter Daniel looking up at him.

"Hey buddy! Do you want to dance with your sister?" Zachary asked. Hunter nodded.

"Alright… You can have her for 2 minutes. After that, she's mine. Aight?" Zachary asked. Hunter nodded and held his arms up to his sister. Evangeline sighed and picked him up.

"Hunt, you have to talk when you want something." Evangeline said as she swayed back and forth.

"But I'm shy." Hunter whined. Evangeline groaned. Hunter had always been the shyer twin. While Maia was outgoing and hyper, Hunter was shy and quiet. After about a minute, Hunter looked at her with his big blue eyes and pouted.

"I want down." Hunter said. Evangeline put him down and he ran over to Lindsay. Evangeline heard a laugh behind her. She turned around and saw Zachary leaning against a wall.

"He never changes, that one." Zachary said. Evangeline sighed and walked towards him.

"I'm extremely tired." Evangeline stated. Zachary groaned.

"Same, but we have to stay for a bit longer. Say hi to everyone, dance, yadda yadda yadda…" Zachary trailed off.

"And you still haven't had your dance with your pa." A voice from behind Evangeline said. She turned around and saw Danny there with a huge grin.

"Hey dad." Evangeline said casually. Danny frowned.

"That's it? No hug? No kiss on the cheek? What happened to little Evangeline Aidan Monroe-Messer? You used to always launch yourself at me whenever you saw me." Danny said. Evangeline grinned.

"But daddy… I'm not Evangeline Aidan Monroe-Messer anymore, I'm Evangeline Aidan Flack." Evangeline said. Danny scowled.

"You should have done what your mother did. She kept her last name." Danny stated. Evangeline giggled and hugged Danny.

"Well, then my name would be Evangeline Aidan Monroe-Messer-Flack… and that would suck." Evangeline said. Danny rolled his eyes and offered his hand to Evangeline.

"Madame? Would you care to dance?" Danny asked. Evangeline laughed out loud.

"Why, of course, kind sir." Evangeline said. Danny pulled her onto the dance floor and put his arms around her waist.

"Eve… I love you, don't you ever forget that." Danny said as they danced. Evangeline nodded.

"I love you too daddy." Evangeline said. She then gave her dad a kiss on the cheek.

"And remember, you'll ALWAYS be a Messer in my eyes." Danny said.

"And I'll always be a Messer at heart." Evangeline said with a smile.

**THE END**

_Wow, this is the end of The Life And Times Of Evangeline Messer. I'm so sad. Don't worry, people, there WILL be a sequel. Fresh start, ya know? Anywho, please review and tell me what you want in the next fic,_


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